Venturing Into the World of BuBu

Final post!

2010-03-23T22:37:00.003+08:00

Helo there...yes I have finally kept my word and have decided to start blogging once again! But but but here's the catch...am not going to blog here in this blog anymore. I started a new blog and henceforth will blog once again in the new blog.

And I am not going to put up the link here. Those faithful readers of mine who still take the time to follow my blog -- drop me an email at-- theng_bubu@yahoo.com -- and I will give you the new link to my blog. So far I know who are my loyal readers...there's probably only like 3 of you left haha...but I don't know all those 'stalkers' who might be secretly reading my blog and finding out about my life without me knowing it. So to secret readers...I dare you to drop me an email!

Anyways...it's been a fun 3 years blogging on and off...time to start anew!

So kiss this blog goodbyeeeeeee people....this will be the last post here!

Buh byeeee!

Ego booster of 2010

2010-01-23T11:36:00.002+08:00

Helo dear readers who I think have gave up reading my blog....here's my 1st exciting story of 2010.
Yesterday night I went out with my collegues to celebrate 'Hen's night' (I thought it used to be called bachelorrette party??) and so we went to a club in hartamas.

The place wasn't that great and mainly Malay uncles were there =_= guess what! I was picked up by a guy there...woot woot...and top it all off he was the most good looking person in the place. My goodness his smile....and so handsome like a model. And he asked for my number too! (ok there was hidden implications of him trying to get me to go home with him...but what do u expect in that kind of setting...prince charming meh...). We danced together and jus had a light peck on the lips before parting ways. Me and colleagues went off to another place.

And so model guy has been messaging me since yesterday. Haha what an ego booster right especially since I have never in 24 years of life been picked up by a guy!

Yes so that's my story. And if I receive at least 1 comment telling there are still readers who follow my blog then i will revamp my blog and start blogging again. If not I wil probably let it die again haha...ciao ppl! Leave a comment if u read this!

Crap!

2009-10-27T23:41:00.000+08:00

Crap....I forgot bout my blog....haven't updated in the longest time.....heloo any readers still out there? Should I just delete the blog perhaps?

Helloo??

Helooo???

Crap.....

Stagnant

2009-08-30T01:12:00.003+08:00

Something seems amiss in my life now. But can't quite tell what it is.....things in my life now doesn't seem wrong but yet doesn't seem right. I'm not happy but am not sad. I want to move forward and I want to go back to the past. I want to be single but I want to be in a relationship. I want to go out but I want to be alone. I want to work and I want to bum around. I want to laugh and I want to cry. What's wrong with me? Maybe I want some drama in life....?

It's August!

2009-07-31T14:20:00.004+08:00

Shit you know what?? It's august already....and the job hunt has had no progress.

Been a bit busy lately...I keep going out and spending money O_o buying formal clothes...eating etc....and this week I've been working mornings and after work go out til night.

Yes....so maybe I think I have been slacking in the job hunt. I think there's this part of me that just wants to take it slow and be able to enjoy for awhile before taking on job hunting as a 'job' on its own. Its just that sometimes I force myself to look online for work because of pressures felt from all corners...

For starters...well Sbux pays me shit....I just got my pay yesterday and I earned Rm385...to survive with that kinda pay is sucks because you know what...I like to buy stuff and sometimes I mean branded stuff. And I like to go out and have drinks (no I don't necessarily mean alcohol) but I mean go out with friends, eat something nice once in awhile and basically lepak la. So with shitty pay from Sbux like that...most of the times we end up in mamaks and window shopping...so sad. I want to be able to earn a decent amount of salary and not hesitate to eat steak at some nice restaurant instead of looking at the cheapest meal they have. And not hesitate to buy a nice top when I finally am able to find something that fits me.

And then of course there's my dad still paying for my expenses while am still at Kl after graduating. Somehow I know my dad of course will still pay while I am unemployed but I have an ego too you know...I can't leech of my dad forever. Am 24 this year....I gotta cut my dad some slack. He's not young anymore and been working his whole life. He needs to stop worrying about his daughters being unable to support themselves. So yes...I need earn more money than what Sbux can pay me....

And then finally there's the pressure from the outside world...from people around who constantly ask....still studying? And I wil reply 'No'....and then the conversation goes on to what my plans are...which I will say I will work first. and then to what kinda work u wanna do....blah blah blah all the way to.....so u started applying.....and people give you a kinda look (which they probably do it unconsciously) when u say u haven been called for any interview or only slowly looking for work. As though the look sends of the msg -- ok....graduate d still using parents' money...or she's probably not trying her hardest--- that kinda insinuations. And yes I do not like it. hence the pressure to find a good job.

And top it all off....I am being selective and picky still bout the type of companies I would wanna work for. Many have told me...its not really my choice but more like what's available so I shouldnt be picky. but hey its been less than a month....I think still can be picky for awhile right??? Sometimes people forget bout the times they themselves looked for work...I mean....honestly...I am psychology graduate....I wouldn't wanna work in some furniture company or cleaning appliances company right??? Let me be picky until I myself realize no 1 wants to hire me ok.....

Gah shoot me...stupid job hunt....stupid august......stupid sbux....stupid desire for money....STUPID STUPID STUPID.....STUPID whatever....

Bring it on!

2009-07-01T23:31:00.003+08:00

Today was my official last day of class in HELP...in 2 weeks I will finally have graduated and finished my degree. 4 years in HELP and so many people I have met...so many things have happened....sob stories, happy stories, bad group members, wacky group members, love life, breakup life, mat rempit chase, drinking sessions, taking up work, work stories, trips, mountain climbing....aaah the list goes on....

I feel like a chapter in my life is about to come to an end only to start a new one right after. And trust me I don't handle transitions in life too well O_o the last time I experienced a life transition, I went into depression for nearly 2 years.....but somehow I believe this time things will be different. I've learnt to handle crap in life better. I've learnt and still am learning to look at life with more optimism instead of dread. I've learned to socialize with people and relate to others better. I've learnt to care for others and be good to people so that they will treat me the same as well. I've managed to practice in my life to never do unto others what I don't want others to do unto me. I've learnt to handle stress and anxiety better. And most of all, I am slowly but steadily I assure you to believe in myself more.

Hence, although the transition in my life now has brought about a lot of worry and anxiety (and severe kan cheong-ness til the point I am not studying but worrying bout finding a job, reading up books on interviews and buying formal clothes for work O_o ), I am not going to fear it like the last time I had a life transition. I am not going to fill my head with stupid doubts and fear of failure like how I did last time. I am going to like Nike....just do it. Just do things instead of thinking about them til their never done. And most of all I am going to learn how to present myself to others and sell myself too to get a job.....and at the same time I am going to have to force myself to learn to take constructive criticism and just plain ol criticism as well in life.

The world is a harsh place to live in but bring it on I'll handle your shit!!

Passion

2009-06-13T23:12:00.003+08:00

Today I went to 1utama with Pearly and another friend to conduct an interview with a youth group called M-Yo or Malaysian Yoyo club. It was for our youth class assignment. Best part is they had a performance in 1utama itself and we got to see some amazing yoyo tricks. I never knew one could do so many things with the yoyo O_O

One thing that struck me throughout the whole day was how dedicated and passionate the players and members of the group were about playing yoyo. It wasn't just a toy or some hobby for them...some of them have been playing for over 10 years and some even play it for a living. And what amazes me was their passion for what they do. Despite how others may see it as a child's game or that it's not something stable or there's no 'future' in it konon....they all still love what they do and do not really give a damn about what the world has to say about them.

I found this trait or characteristic in them truly admirable. Its a trait I don't have in myself. Or perhaps I do but just do not know what is it I should be passionate bout....for all my life I have wondered what is it that I would be able to be so passionate about. I have yet to find something that I truly enjoyed doing...that I would be willing to sacrifice my time and money to do just because I love it. And at times I feel kinda sad when I see others who know what they want to do in life and have a sense of purpose in their lives. In fact not only sad....envious as well. Envious to be able to see the joy in their faces as they do something their so passionate about.

So there you go....another confession from me....what is the fire in me that would keep on burning no matter what??

Oh well on the plus side though....highlight of my day -- one of the members was so cute (at least for me la...) and it was fun being able to wash my eyes the whole time hehe =p

Did you know a friend labeled me the other day? She called me the girl who openly fat hou (naik miang/eh the english equivalent i am not so sure.....think its horny....but still that sounds so wrong....nvm....). She said I am so open bout how I like to look at cute guys and analyze them and how I even admit I like to look at them. Of course me being me and not wanting to be labeled I refused to acknowledge that statement....but after today and self reflection on how I kept secretly staring/looking at the guy....I accept that label.

Yes I do openly crave to look at cute guys muahahahaaa! So what....I am single =p

Shit thrown at us

2009-06-10T23:59:00.002+08:00

I just came back from yum cha-ing with a colleague. I could tell she was a little depressed what with all her family problems, her boyfriend's problems and added on to that her friends in college have isolated her as well nowadays. Its so sad to see people unhappy. To see tears welling up in their eyes and yet their still trying to smile as if to convince themselves that their fine when in actual fact their not.

I guess that's the thing with us humans. We smile and convince others we are alright when they ask us what is wrong and in between those fake smiles, we try and convince ourselves that we are alright as well. Plain truth is most of the time when we are feeling lousy, we're not alright...which is exactly the reason we seek others out. But humans being humans are always compelled not to trouble with their problems. And we speak shallow surface stuff when all we really want is someone to talk to and pour our heart soul out.

The world is such a cynical place to live in. Fate throws us the funniest things sometimes and the challenges 'god' supposedly throws at us that some people say are meant to test us, just makes us question what it's intentions are in the first place when it chooses to place people in such misery.

The world is such a strange place. We try so hard at life and life continually throws shit at some of us. And then we wonder is would there be a time when we could be shit free? I guess if that time comes then we're not living anymore are we...

Hey mom

2009-05-28T21:37:00.002+08:00

As I sit here downstairs now listening to random music on youtube while looking/scoping around for the jobs available...suddenly I find myself thinking about my mom. I've been missing my mom lately. All the strangeness and unexpected events happening for 2009 makes me realize how much I don't know how to handle life sometimes. I realize I don't know how to react many times when things happen. Should I be happy? Should I be angry? I don't know how to label my emotions sometimes.

Funny things is I don't know why I think that things would be different in my life if my mom was around. Maybe I feel at least I would have someone to confide in. Someone to teach me things...to guide me....to comfort me....to give me pep talks when I'm down...someone to cheer on me.....just to have someone there for me and for me to be able to call and talk to.

I don't have many memories of my mom. Most of what I can remember was when she was sick. I wish I had more time to make more memories with her. I wish she was here to bring my family together. I wish I remember the last thing I even said to her. I wish I could have said a proper goodbye.

So strange of me to emo and think of my mom. Do you know that I don't pray to god but pray to my mom instead?

Mom where are you? How are you? Do you know I wish to talk to you? Sigh life.....

Friendship

2009-05-26T19:40:00.005+08:00

Ok people have told me to blog bout stuff they don't already know bout or that's not so lame.....fine will crack brain thinking of something interesting bout me.......................................................

Hmmmmm........................................................................

I'm thinking................................................................................................

Still thinking........................................................................................

Really trying to think ok....................................................................................................ok lemme talk bout friendship.

I've always thought of myself as a loyal person. Loyal in love and friendships. If you're my friend I'll try and help you if I can. I'll think bout your troubles even if it doesn't concern me or I can't do anything bout it. I'm the type of person who would offer to drive you somewhere if you really needed to get there or lend you money if I felt you needed it (even if you could be conning me). But to gain my loyalty is a different story. Not all friends I see as worthy of my loyalty. My trust can be gained easily no doubt but somehow there's an X factor that makes me choose who I 'pledge' my loyalty to. Even if you're a nice person or nice to me, I still might not like you as a friend and the care level will definitely be lower.....perhaps its something to do with personailities....some I like and some I don't?

Honestly there's few people that I would say am really close with. Some friends I know will always be my friend. Even though their so far away and we hardly meet or speak....their genuine people. And some friends here too...their just genuinely nice people who I know that if I call with some emergency they'll definitely be there. And then....there's the surface friends.....these are friends that you can hang out with here and there and have a joke or two...but you honestly don't really know much about them. And these friendships somehow rarely grows or develops. They get stuck at the surface phase that sometimes one can get bored with them.

And there are some friendships of mine whereby I tried to put them in the loyalty circle but somehow maybe their just not interested or something because time and time again they just prove to slowly break the solid bar that holds my loyalty. They just keep throwing punches at it as though trying to see if their able to break it. Testing my patience by constantly ffk-ing after I plan a gathering which they ask me to plan!!, doing something following their mood, agreeing to something only to buat bodoh bout it...like dinner plans....and then.....there's the ultimate betrayal.....mis-using my help, taking advantage of my loyalty.....

Let me give you an example --
I recently found out that a so called friend of mine (who I no longer put in my loyalty circle and don't really want to consider a friend anymore after what she did) scored an A- for her thesis 1 proposal. When I first heard bout it i was like wow n skeptical cos she in truth is not that great a student. So I asked to see her thesis just to clear the doubts that I was having....wouldn't you know it....the bitch plagiarized my work. She copied the way I wrote, my style and how I wrote my thesis but the only difference is that her topic is different. From the methods part every sentence one after another was like a replica of mine....its like she didn't even bother to think how to structure her own stuff but instead used a fucking easy, lazy way out and used my thesis as a template. What the fuck man??? I email my thesis to a couple of my friends out of good will and this is how you return the favor? By copying my work? Who gives you the right???? I seriously am speechless when I found out about this. This person I no longer trust and you no longer have my loyalty or care even. I take my relationships and friendships very seriously so go fuck yourself and I will not even bother to help you out with your thesis 2 let alone let you even have a glimpse of my work. I don;t hope you fail but I hope as hell you score as low as your own work might deserve.

So there you have it....my first official 'enemy'. The second friend who broke my trust. Some others seem to be nearing there...oh well humans are nothing but sick creatures.

So if you are in my loyalty circle already kudos to you especially those in the 1st list. The rest of you...oh well.....that's life....

Updating updating

2009-05-21T00:11:00.002+08:00

OK i am updating because friend just asked if my blog was dead...haha oops....there i go again....

Anyways tonight is a depressing night for me. I just have this sense of unhappiness. And the reason for this?? Well my thesis results are out and I did not get the grade I was hoping for. I only got B+ and was secretly hoping for an A-....once I saw the results I salt to the wound by listening to emo songs and doing nothing but listen to stuff on youtube. Added on too was suspicious thoughts of mine concerning another friend....evil evil evil me....

So overall last semester was a string of B's again for me. Basically my 3rd year is just full of those. B's....B's....B's.....B's.....

Bah....i don't even know what I'm talking bout....babbling as usual....I need comfort food.....but oh guess what...am sick again so won't be able to taste anything.....

ARGH sometimes life just SUCKS! ok not sometimes....most times.....argh whatever...

Life these days

2009-04-05T22:40:00.012+08:00

It's Sunday, April 5th....next week is the last week for the semester and then we're on study break. My thesis is due 13th...or was it 14th...and once I hand it in and finish my defence on the 21st I'll finally finish my entire undergraduate thesis...I can't believe it'll all be over soon in a matter of 2 weeks. Top it off too next semester would be my last and I will finally be out of HELP.

It feels so strange to think that I will be graduating soon. Honestly I am not sure what happens once I graduate. I lost the ability to think long term. I am trying to be positive and tell myself I'll find a great job...I hope so...such mixed feelings I have about graduating and starting work. Its like finishing a chapter in my life and starting a new one. And to think that next year I would have been on this planet for a quarter of a decade. Do I have life stories I am able to share and tell others? Or am I still stuck underneath this shell, oblivious to the realities of life? I wonder...

This semester has been interesting I must say. My friendships with a group of people in class has grown and it's so interesting to observe the various kinds of people out there. Those that are sincere, those that are fake, those that care, those that pretend to care, those that teach, those that are naive, those that are manipulative and so many kinds more. Even through out the 1n half years I have been working in Starbucks, its so strange how some friendships I predicted would develop but ended up nowhere instead I relate more to some who I wouldn't expect.

Life is strange. Sometimes I don't know what to make of it. Is what I believe in wrong? Are they illusions in my estranged world? Or am I a realist not wanting to believe the world is capable of being a happy place? I had a conversation about god with a few people lately. Some like me believe god is unfair and some believe god is fair and throws challenges at you knowing you are capable of handling them.

I know I am typing random things each paragraph now but who cares its my blog hehe. How has the year been for me? Well I think I am doing better emotionally these days as compared to the last few months of 2008. My taste in music has changed somewhat and I have no idea why (ok that's partially a lie but I won't say here...leave it to you to figure that out...). I no longer have an inkling towards sappy love songs, slow songs, ballads....instead now I tend to want to listen to noisy songs...feng tao songs (goyang kepala, shake heads songs). I blast the radio playing songs by Britney Spears, Lady Gaga etc....and turn the station when they play songs from Kelly Clarkson or whatever emo song. I have been wanting to thanni more often lately. As for relationship....nah I'm not really looking...though I still wash my eyes looking at guys. I am still building up the courage to ask guys out just for the heck of it. The 'conventional girl' in me still strong and Theng still hasn't found the guts to ask any guy out.

I've become more vulgar these days. But I all the bad words and curses only come out with those who do the same la. I don't go around cursing everyone of course. I have been shopping like nobody's business these days...expanding my wardrobe by buying more dresses that I never wear because there's nowhere to wear them to except class...which I dont la of course! Dress up for guys in Bpysch?....duh of course not...no one there worth the effort. I've been working night shift more often these days. What else? Ok I cant think of anything else...

I cant believe I can ramble so much rubbish in 20 mins....and yet still forever loyal friends still read my posts! Kudos to you gals...you know who you are....and the fact you're reading til here even....hebat :D

Ok I duno what to rant on about anymore...so I think I will stop for now. I really have no topic on what to write on sometimes...someone suggest me a topic to blog on ok in my chatterbox...and I will write a post especially for you hehe....let's see if anyone leaves any messages or topics...til then tata!

Bubu is tired

2009-03-07T15:44:00.003+08:00

Its only been the first week of march and I always feel tired these days. Mentally and physically. I rarely get enough proper sleep because everyday is so busy with group meetings and assignments and work and trying to have a social life.

I can't wait for Penang man. After this semester is over I am gonna be so relieved because I'll finally have finished my thesis paper. And to have a mini holiday right after is like woohoo!! It's been awhile since I travelled anywhere. Am thinking of maybe going to Borrobudur hehe cos just found out from Mat that the flight through and fro costs like Rm300+...and I can afford that! Must find some kakis to go with me la muahaha :D

So what's been going on in my life? Well nothing cos this semester I'm super busy. Don't even have time to go back my hometown.

Aside from that, this year I'll be attending my friend's wedding. Hehe a bit shy to say but this is the first wedding I'm going that is a friend of mine rather than a relative. And its an Indian wedding....and their making me wear a SARI! O_o I know....I can't imagine what I would look like too...and have to go buy after exams. So am wondering what color to get....anyone got any ideas or tips??

Speaking of weddings....this friend who's getting married was asking all of us when we plan to get married and all repliedher in 5 years time. I wonder if that's like that standard answer to give when your single. As for me I said 5 years too but hehe actually would like to marry around the age of 28 or 29 if possible. Those of you who know me definitely know that I wanna get married...but eh...kids...haha my college gang all decided they'll never leave their kids alone with me...so go figure....

Here's the story that made them decide so:

It was a super hot and moody day for me....I was in Melaka and went to Mahkota Parade with my family. It was the weekend so the place was like super packed with people (yes...on weekends Melaka is full of people from Johor and Singapore because people got nothing better to do on their weekends so they come to Melaka O_o ) so we were walking to the elevator. I was in a bad n cranky mood so walked ahead of my family. That's when it happened....

This small girl was running around and banged into me....

The first words that came out of my mouth that time were:

"What the f**k??!"

I said that and glared at her....

Poor kid was so scared she ran away....

Yup so now you know not to leave your kid with me eh??

:p

Boo Hoo

2009-02-18T17:07:00.003+08:00

It's midterms week and I just finished my 1st paper -- cognitive psychology...it was Ms. Winnie's paper...take a guess if it was easy. Next paper is tomorrow-- counseling psychology...hopefully will be alright considering I did this subject before back in ADP.

Anyways I just checked out postsecret.com and they had a special on valentine secrets. So what did ah Theng do on this day supposedly filled with love and romance?? Jeng jeng...worked la duh! Yup instead of going out on a date with god knows who...I made some moolah...worked the night shift and then went Steven's corner the mamak with all the single colleagues (except Rudy who's married) who chose to work on Valentine's day. So why am I telling you all this? That I do not know...it's just something random to talk about...or maybe unconsciously I'm trying to hint to the single guys out there to gimme a holler? Not that there are actually single guys who read my blog...hmmm...come to think of it most who read my blog are girls...and most of my friends are girls...and I don't really have any close guy friends...so maybe it means something...maybe unconsciously I don't like guys...maybe I've been trying to go for the wrong sex all this while....maybe I should switch my targets...hmmm...hmmm....hmmmm....(after 5 mins of self reflecting)....nope....I still like guys....I had this conversation once with a colleague of mine who is a lesbian---

Colleague: (was talking bout her past relationships and how many girlfriends she has had)
Theng: Hmm...mungkin saya patut cuba keluar dengan perempuan kan...mana tau I juga suka perempuan.
Colleague: Betul betul. U never know.
Theng: okla I try date you la. Can what kan we get along well and all...
Collegue: Boleh boleh (she said jokingly la of course).
Theng: (after 30secs of thinking)....nola cannot la. I can't date you....no matter what also...I suka batang la....I tak suka lubang....

(we both burst out into laughter and another 2 guys colleagues of mine eyes opened so big as though they were gonna pop out....they were so surprised by my answer...)

Hahaha for those of you who didn't get the joke...good for you...keep your innocence and don't fill your heads with nonsense like me and my friend there...for those of you who gets it....tell me?

Kau suka batang ke lubang?

Bye!!

Abadoned blog

2009-02-05T22:36:00.010+08:00

Oh dear...how long has it been since I had an entry?? For a moment there I kinda thought of abandoning my blog and just quit blogging....sometimes I really don't know what to write...but haha i feel bad cos I know some friends still check my blog...so okla I update for all you so ever loyal readers.

Well its 2009 now...the year ended just like that...I did pretty much nothing...stayed home in Melaka and watched tv...wait or was I playing video games?? or whatever as though that's so much of a difference...oh and chinese new year's over too....I spent most of it playing video games in Melaka too. Didn't really bother going out or visiting. Just same ol antisocial me sitting at home :p

I've been wanting to put up a few pic entries...but the events has been a few months back that I'm lazy to put some up...so maybe when I'm super bored will put up some prom pictures la...or enough people pressure into putting them up...

since I got facebook up on another tab i decided to be a bit rajin today and put up some recent pictures of a makan outing with Pig and Melon...this was taken last year. we were celebrating Pearly's 21st...(oops..I guess I'm super outdated in updating stuff eh)...well anyways here's round 1 of pics...round 2 on a more recent celebration but will be put up...well when i feel like it la hehe...

Dinner in Shogun. They now serve a hotpot (ok i think its the wrong name but nvm...) yummy dinner!

The trio at dinner. Same place same people as the previous year :D

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and after dinner guess what we went and did around 1 utama??
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Took pics with or more like in the mini mobile moving toys/machines meant for kids! yes...3 big buffalos destroying kid's toys with their grown up bodies...nice!

We all remember Oscar the Grouch rite? Melon here with her new bud ;)

Kinda looks like Oscar's gonna bite the Pig's b**bs

I couldn't even fit in completely man!

Seems like she couldnt fit too...

I think Melon fit in it the best hehe...

Only Pearly sat in this 1...it was superbly tiny ok the spaceship!

2 pretty gals driving the lost dalmation to its destination?
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and guess what we did before we headed home in the car park?
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got our butts stuck in more things that weren't meant to fit us!! OK more like only pearly did this la!!

But I did help with the posing haha!
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and that was our makan night out!

That's all for now til the next post ;)

So much for working...

2008-11-05T00:16:00.002+08:00

Don't work in Starbucks...people are mean....

Odd external beliefs

2008-10-28T19:09:00.003+08:00

So my horoscope today tells me--

"You are lucky today to have the ability to accept the things you cannot change"

Well honestly I find this partially true to some extent today I guess.....I just finished my seminar for health psychology on 'childhood obesity'. And well let's just say I feel out of 4 groups today...my group was the weakest by far...just the quality of work itself is not up to even my own standards let alone not on par with the rest of the groups....

Well I cannot change who I am thrown to work with....and I guess to some extent I've just given up on harping and being depressed bout not being able to do better. It was a team effort and just like semester...I wasn't in the best team....in fact how I wish I could choose my own usual people I work with just to show to our lecturer that 'hi i am not that not-so-good a student you might have the image of after you saw our weak presentation'....

Sigh on some level I'm sad I have to let go of getting a good grade for this class...do I accept -- yes...am I happy bout accepting--NO--

Well its just odd how my horoscope says this today after my presentation...sometimes I belief what is said in my horoscope believe it or not O_o haha such external superstitious beliefs eh....well maybe we need to believe these kinds of things once in awhile to make ourselves feel better....

Here's to hoping tomorrow's campaign will help us score better and perhaps gimme a better grade =D

Feeling like a sad panda....

Good news of the year

2008-10-22T15:40:00.003+08:00

Guess what??? I am about to brag and announce good news..on my behalf of course..duh! Oh well if you have something against me or don't like hearing other people's good news then don't read la...but...

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I am getting a CAR soon!! Woohoo...a mini secondhand kelisa just for me =D courtesy of me daddy of course muahaha!

Ok I know half of you guys already know this la but still...people just must brag once in awhile right???

And if you're thinking what's the big deal...um....ah so what...its a big deal to me la...

Well among all the bad luck and bad news these days that I'm getting...I deserve something good right? Of course I do....dahlah broken hearted from love...demotivated from studies...and too busy for work......good things must come by once in awhile to help tip the already unbalanced scale a lil...

So that's my good news of the year...what's yours??

Mamma Mia!

2008-10-19T18:37:00.002+08:00

Today at Bangsar Village there was a small booth....there was gonna be 2 hour special on Mamma Mia the live musical...with stars from the musical singing some songs for our entertainment. I haven't watched the show Mamma Mia but I heard people say its good...so anyone who hasn't watched it wanna go see???? And people are saying Eagle Eye is damn good too.....but most of my friends have watched it...dang....anyone wanna re-watch it with me????

Anyway....my pathetic going-to-movie-with-me-pleas aside, back to the Mamma Mia booth....at bout 3.15 after having lunch with Ling, I went back into BV and they had started the speciale event..all sorts of Abba songs were playing....

Nicest part was as I heard some of these songs played out loud a huge smile plastered on my face...knowing those songs...and remember hearing them from my childhood from my mom who used to play and sing them out loud....it was just classic nostalgia....these days few things can put a huge smile on my face....one is looking at cute doggies (even from the window of a pet shop), planning a vacation trip (penang here I come!) and music that just rings a bell from the past...

It was a happy feeling I must admit...that I wish to go see the musical in dec....so here's another plea....anyone wanna go watch the Mamma Mia live musical????

Wasting time

2008-10-12T21:47:00.002+08:00

Yes here I am blogging wasting time because I am absolutely stuck...I can't figure out how to go about writing about Frederick W. Taylor. This dude is the father of scietific mangement. And I have to decribe his contributions to the field of I/O psychology....sigh I hate mental blocks...

I overshot my deadline for myself for my assignment again...I really need some training on self-discipline...I don't know what's wrong with but my mind keeps swaying elsewhere...keep thinking about irrelevant stuff...

I think I have been a state of denial lately...a lot of things are stressing me out especially assignments and grades but I just been cool bout all of it as though it doesn't really matter if I don't do so well...I doubt I've begun to accept that getting good grades are not important in life...so I can only conclude that I am in a state of denial....

The same goes with my current wellbeing somehow...I can't work well with my team mates for health psych, people's attitudes at work are annoying sometimes, I am still not totally fine after Robin moved out without telling me anything (ok I know I did not blog bout this before...), I am worried bout my family's state of minds...etc...but yet I just still feell an odd sense of calmness...as long as I don't think bout it..it affects my emotions less....hence the state of denial....

I guess if I think bout it all at once...it can overwhelm me...and I wonder if it can get to me to a point of me breaking down....

But somehow well these days I don't think...as if scarily not dealing with things O_o

Not good I know...but well suppression is a form of self-defense right?

Muahahaa this is Bubu in her prime state of denial of life...not good..not bad...just keeps her going =P

Zoning out

2008-10-10T22:40:00.002+08:00

It's 10.40pm now....and I am so sleepy now....I haven't finished my I/O assignment but I feel like sleeping now...and to think I gave myself til sat to finish it...

I'm working morning shift tomoro and guess what....I actually should not be working....because....

Like the idiot that I am....I signed up for HELP's trekkathon....and couldnt remember the date...so all this while I was on the assumption that it was on the 11th of Nov....til Ling messaged me asking me what time we should there tomoro O_o

Yes....I completely mixed up the date with another date which was supposed to be the Terry Fox run some time in Nov....I feel so bad because was supposed to go together for the trekkathon with Ling...so sorry Ling!

Yes that was the idiot that was me....

Theng zoning out to bed now....bleukkk...who cares if I/O isn't done....

Idiot over and out.....zzzz.....

Time

2008-10-07T19:31:00.002+08:00

I'm so stressed....I've got so many things to do....but too little time to do most of them....I've recently realized in the past 2 weeks how much working takes up of my time...and add on to the fact that last week was raya so the store had no one to work (unfortunately they still don't learn their lesson and are not hiring anyone to work mornings after a usual morning shift worker left....)...so I had to work closings and a few mornings...and this week because one guy is not back from raya...no one is left to open the store except another guy...so I pitied them a little and offered a few days....

Not that I don't enjoy the working...free coffee in the morning definitely a perk...but honestly usually I work 8 hours...that's like 3/4 of my waking day....then go home in the evening all tired and exhausted to even do research or whatever assignment I need to do....and let's not forget some nights I have to make time to go out with other people cos if I don't go out once in awhile I'm gonna go crazy with all the stress from school work...

I have an assignment due this fri...my group campaign due in 3 weeks time (and my group is horrible...totally passive and until now no solid idea...) and my thesis research is pathetic....I'm so slow I'm embarrassed with myself :(

So I'm very stressed out now....so many things to do....help....

I wish I could stop time to finish up all that I need to do..and sleep as long as I can and then restart time....I'm so mentally and physically tired....

I'v gotta work much less these coming weeks which won't be a good thing for my store cos not enough people to work mornings...but oh well...studies gotta come first right....

I don't even have to time to go for movies! I wanna watch Eagle Eye!!!

Argh....just wishing for time....

Wit

2008-09-23T19:35:00.003+08:00

In Health Psychology class today Dr. Hera played the movie 'Wit' starring Emma Thompson for us. The purpose she chose the movie was for us to look at doctor-patient care but she also wanted to show us the 'humanity' side of psychology, medicine,etc...in that no matter how great we are...how brilliant our minds are...how superb we can do research..sometimes its easy to forget our humanity. The movie's about a cancer patient and her whole course of chemo treatment. Her stay at the hospital and how she is treated by fellow doctors and nurses. It's really a depressing movie because it depicts how humans can be so ignorant to suffering hoping to find great accomplishments elsewhere. It's also frightening in a sense to see how the lead actress' health slowly deteriorating because of the cancer and the side effects of her treatment. It's a movie worth watching I would say.

But watching the movie just made me think of my mom...and how she suffered with cancer all those years. Made me really sad. Imagine how many other people with cancer have gone through all that suffering. There's something about cancer that scares me. There are times when a small part of me wonders...what if I get cancer one day? What if I end up suffering like how my mom did? Is it worth all the trouble trying to be someone in this world and find happiness....if I just die cos of cancer in the end??

Some days its troubling to think of all this even though I know I shouldn't . Is the fear really that powerful to fill one with self-doubt and self-defeat?

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It is.

100th post

2008-08-31T20:47:00.002+08:00

I didn't realize but guess what...it's my 100th post la! Haha not bad eh...in a span of um...2...or is it 3 years...I have written 100 posts...ok pretty lousy blogging la if you realize that there's 365 days a year...so if you average it out over 2 years...you get it.... :p

Well I just wanted to write about a peculiar/strange/weird/scary dream I had yesterday night.

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It started with me looking at a boutique in a somewhat small town. Odd enough I was a 'mat salleh' and a brunette with a short ponytail but I was me because I felt it (ok explanation so do not make sense but you know ur u in a dream la...). So there I was staring into the boutique that was already closed during the day. Suddenly I teleported inside it. There I stood looking outside at the world from inside the boutique. As I stared outside I teleported outside back. This happened a few times.

Then change of scene...I was rushing to meet someone. This person was supposed be my boyfriend. I was rushing to meet him at some restaurant. But before that I was already in a different chinese restaurant rushing out to the other restaurant to meet him. So I was running past a hallway like area where the tables are at the sides. As I was running I ran past a table where I then stopped. At the table...sat my aunt from Melaka alongside with my late grandmother that passed away earlier this year. Both of them were strange enough eating chicken chop O_o in fact I even remembered that my aunt was eating deep fried chicken chop with mushroom gravy (Yes..I know very very weird I remember this so specifically....well cos the in the dream it focused in on the meal like in the movies). Anyway...so I stopped there and they asked to join them. I declined hastily told them was meeting someone and continued running.

Next I came out of the restaurant back to the small town again. Ran a bit more and finally met up ahem...the bf...who was also a mat salleh dude...with curly hair and an unshaven face. Not too bad looking I must admit :p he had brown hair too. We exchanged some words (unfortunately conversation did not come in audio in the dream...ish stupid audio part of brain must have been asleep la). I don't remember if there was any hug or kisses. And off we started heading to the restaurant we intended to go to.

But before we started to head off for the restaurant we arrived at a stall or something like that. They were selling some sort of roast meat...we got in queue wanting to eat that suddenly. Ok freaky part here....the queue consisted of all the same type of people...wearing blue color janitor-like suits (the kind you see in movies) and it was as though they were all dragging themselves like zombies. At the front of the queue was eeks a zombie roasting the meat we all supposedly wanted to buy. There was blood gushing out here and there as he/it roasted the meat...I got disgusted and told my bf we should eat somewhere else. He agreed and off we headed.

Right after we set for our next destination....there was a change of atmosphere in the air. From peace and calm in the town the atmosphere changed into one that was of panic and chaos. I think something happened with zombie cook and things started to go on a rampage. Suddenly the streets were filled with zombies...or people who looked like they were turning into zombies....I think they were the men in blue suits cos those on a rampage all wore those. And civilians were running around screaming. We started running too what with all the commotion.

I have no idea why but we decided to run back to the restaurant where I saw my aunt and grandmother. So we ran and ran and ran....(all the running while holding hands wei....I'm impressed with the intimacy between me and my fake dream bf...). Bf kicked open a yellow wooden gate as we neared the place where the chinese restaurant was ( I have no idea of the significance of the yellow gate....and why specifically it zoomed to the kicking of the yellow gate....). When we reached the door to the restaurant somehow we knew it wasn't safe to go inside...instincts told us to avoid going in...(fuyoh my instincts also working in my dreams). So we kept running.

Ran and ran and ran...and suddenly we came back to the closed boutique I was at earlier. There we were at the same spot I was staring at when I was staring into the boutique earlier. And suddenly...poof we teleported inside again. Just 2 of us inside safe and staring out at the world...while the world was screaming in chaos outside. And then I woke up.

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So I woke up then scared shit and frightened. I didn't dare close my eyes and go back to sleep even though was in a really sleepy mode. I was scared I would fall back asleep and continue the dream. And I was scared of what could have gone on to happen in the dream. Afraid of the zombies and all. So i forced myself to stay awake for quite awhile before I went back to sleep. Many scary thoughts of how the dream would continue where we were inside the boutique and trapped inside with zombies. When I woke I really really anyone was sleeping beside me....instead of being alone in the dark.

Yup so that was my extremely weird dream. I cant say but this is quite freaky....as freaky and scary as the time I had my CSI dead bodies dream. No doubt there are many hidden unconscious things going on here. Running away is one...relationship is another...safety too what with the safe boutique and all...and maybe the dead or death....esp with zombies and my grandmother...

I am seriously scared. I wish didn't have to go to sleep tonight. I don't want to have another disturbing dream...I'd rather not dream than to dream nightmares :(

Well would love to hear anyone's thoughts on my dream. Feel free to analyze. Well that's all for my 100th post. Disturbing post sorta isn't it? Ok more like disturbing dream la. Until the next post then (hopefully not describing another freaky dream...).

A plateau with barely any ups and downs

2008-08-22T22:21:00.002+08:00

Well it's been awhile since I've blogged...haha yes being on holiday made me the worse blogger ever. I literally abandoned my blog...going to it only to get to the links of my friends whose blogs I read. But no worries because hehe those who usually read my blog are on holiday too...so they don't blog as well or perhaps even go online :p

I just came back from dinner with Sbux colleagues. Went to MCD's in Bangsar. Somehow we all like each other (at least I hope we do) but gathering together...well....there's always many moments of silence where everyone's eyes just darts around at each other and the surroundings until someone says something or cracks a joke. Not to say I don't enjoy our gatherings but I've always been puzzled by those moments. It's different when you're out with someone really close or with some friends who you can just talk and talk and talk with with rarely having those moments. There are very few friends that I personally have this connection with whereby when we meet the whole time we can chat. I wonder though if it's the same for the rest. Maybe in smaller groups or the mixing of the crowd in which the connection between each other is good then only those moments will rarely exist. But it is a mystery though...is it because we all don't know each other too well? Or we do not want to disclose too much information to each other because fear, discomfort, lack of trust etc? Or could be secretly we all wished we weren't there? (ok the last one is definitely an exaggeration la...of course I don't think that...but others you just never know....). It'd be good to find a way to break those silences...I guess that's why having a really chatty person around is always a plus in bigger gatherings. Oh well perhaps with more outings more and better improved quality talk will be generated too ;)

Anyway life during the holidays is like the title says a plateau with lil bumps of ups and downs. Been traveling back and forth Melaka trying to learn how to drive there. And when I'm back here mainly I work and most nights go out because I don't want to home. Nothing exciting has happened in general. I don't much update to talk about. A big plus was having Becky stay with me for 5 days. My own personal wife at home wei....how many people in your life would clean your room?? (ok mothers don't count). It was fun having her around and going out constantly. Doing our usual trip to Midvalley whereby we would have our Yoshinoya, watch a movie and shop! But sadly she's not at my place anymore and will be leaving to America real soon :(

Other than that work has been...hmm....boring actually...even though a lot stuff is going on...quite political in a sense...I don't really give a shit anymore...I work when I want to and only to get the extra money to buy stuff and eat good food. Some people at work can be annoying at times...pissy...emotional...all the works la...which makes me not wanna go home even more ofter work because I wish could go out and chill and have fun with people that I can have fun with or have great chit chats with.

Because life has been rather still these days...it kinda makes me miss dating. You know...going out with someone you like/love and care about. Watching movies, eating at food places you generally won't try, driving around, having supper,watching a dvd while cuddling...the works la...sigh...okok sorry emo side of me took over....

But honestly I don't know what to look forward to nowadays. Life so...just like that...that it's hard to want to look forward to anything. I wish this part of me could lessen...but these days it seems to be growing bigger bigger...I need to learn to look forward to things :(

Ok when my paragraphs get shorter...I know I'm just ranting random things again....

I'll blog again...in due time hopefully....here's to hoping there will be ups in life and great things to look forward to...CHEERS!!

Bloody eye...

2008-07-02T15:12:00.003+08:00

First of all I just realized I have a new mole on my right eyelid.....ugh I hate moles....

And!! Omg....a blood vessel in my right eye popped....and I have a small trail of blood at the top of my eyeball....ok you can't see it looking at me straight but if I look down you can see the red streak of blood in my eye...(ok maybe you can't understand reading like this but understand its freaky and scary)....I was so freaked out that at work this morning I kept telling everyone I'm afraid of going blind...even though Andreena assures me it'll go off....but still..what if spreads??? What if my eye starts seeing red??? Omg......I'm freaking scared......worst of all....WHAT IF I GO BLIND??????

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Defeated

2008-06-25T12:42:00.003+08:00

After nearly 4 years studying at HELP and countless presentations...I am truly defeated after today's presentation. It was for my cross-cultural psychology class. First off, my group was the worst of all in history of all group assignments I have done. And let me warn all of you reading first...if you don't like to hear people talking bad bout others then don't read anymore...but I just have to let this off somewhere....

I've never come across any group where everyone couldn't give a damn about their presentation. To most of them just passing the bloody thing was good enough for them. At the beginning all meetings were horrible because we had no clue on what to do...ok fine...but then again no 1 really bothered to do research to try and get some idea. Ok so after a number of fruitless meetings (which wasn't many to begin with because they never saw it necessary to meet)...I offered to compile everyone's articles on the topic we decided on which was attitudes towards death. I said send a few of your most relevant ones to me and I'll READ and choose the best 6 for us...2 nights passed and no one sent me anything....so I went on to EBSCO and i finally found some articles on a really specific topic...which was death anxiety and they were all comparing cultures. So I proposed it to them and they accepted without any thought about the thing even. ok fine...don't want to think and want someone to just find the articles for you....fine....

So we had an ethics assignment due last mon and fri (but the fri 1 was postponed to the following mon)....so we met on fri to outline our presentation...no one did any research or read the articles I sent to them...because all too focused on the ethics assigemnts...ok nvm....we were supposed to meet tat fri as long as it took....as usual some had to leave early (and their early was just an hour after the meeting)...and end result of that meeting..everyone go back and research on the topics/stuff we outlined at the same time read their own journal (we had divided them finally...). And when proposed to meet during the weekend...all sorts of excuses came out from all....so fine we meet mon to do...just a day before our presentation...from 12-2 and 4 onwards...as long as it took that night.

Come monday....meeting made super slow progress because surprise surprise no one did any research...some did not even write out a summary of their journal like supposed to. Best part still....said and confirmed that after 4 we would work on the slides and the whole damn thing til it was finished....3 of them left by 6....and work was only halfway done...all they said was send them the slides and let them know what part they were supposed to present. So I worked with the other 2 for the whole night until 11 pm...and it was shoddy and lousy work because they were so cincai anyways....literally no one bothered to do any outside reading for the presentation except me. Add on to that...one girl was so stubborn that she wanted her way and things in the presentation even when it wasn't really agreed upon as it was only looking at things from her article...

So yesterday was our presentation....and let's just say it was one of the worst and most embarrassing presentation I've ever done. Supposed to meet 7.15 to discuss things....2 came at 7.35, 2 at 7.45 and last girl came into class at 8,,,and we were the 2nd group to present....nice eh...we were basically slaughtered and condemned by both lecturer and tutor who happens to be a friend by the way....there was hardly any referencing...and everyone just spoke their own things...some not even consistent with what was discussed...you just knew we failed miserably...

So i left class totally defeated and sad...upset...angry...disappointed....the works la....went to work til evening...and guess what I receive even more lousy news to make my day....

Friend called me to tell me....stupid Fulton basically failed the whole class...he walked out of the next tutorial when the 2nd group was presenting....and now he wants all of us to re-present again on Monday. Some of you reading this might say to me...hey now got 2nd chance to do better...but honestly....I'll tell you this....at this point...I'd rather FAIL the bloody presentation worth 15% than to have to work with them anymore. That's how much I hate working with them. We have a major paper due this fri for effing fulton anyway...so they probably won't even want to meet until that's done and even by then they wouldn't have done any research anyway cos had to focus on the other paper. and they probably don't want to meet the weekend so what's the difference? So why bother wanting to present again....and stupid fulton is just gonna be the same...he's gonna critic and condemn all anyways....he's that sadistic a person...and even though I did get him as my supervisor for thesis...I pray to god that his contract wont be renewed so I'll get someone new to work under...

I am truly defeated. Its too late for me to drop his class now....everyone in class wishes they did...There's this part in me that feels like going to tell fulton to just fail me for the presentation because I don't want to see their faces as a group anymore. :(

Thursday morning

2008-06-12T09:49:00.002+08:00

It's 9.50 in the morning now...it's thursday and later I'm gonna be going back Melaka with my sister. My grandmother passed away on Monday. Her funeral's on Friday.

The times now seems bad...I don't know but things just seem to be going wrong a lot lately. I told my counselor yesterday...it just seems like a 'bad season'. I hope things will get better and hear more good news. I haven't been sleeping well. And that I don't know why either. Maybe I'm stressed lately. A friend told me yest I've been looking rather down lately...compared to last time. I guessed I never noticed that I'm somewhat been a little depressed lately. Not bout anything specific but just the combination of lousy things and nothing good happening to balance the scale.

But strangely I'm feeling rather calm this morning. Listening music now...ok actually just one song hehe...but the tune's so nice :p it's by Letto -Ruang Rindu. Heard it in my sister's car. But I was drinking my nescafe in the morning downstairs and don't know....just felt at peace somewhat.

Everyone's been so busy lately. No one has time to just go out and hang out these days. I miss hanging out or around with some friends in college and work. The hols won't really be a holiday too cos I plan to a full-time internship while still work part time at Starbucks. So that's like 2 jobs! But if some colleagues can do it why can't I right? Unconfirmed yet so won't say the company details yet.

Ok I'm out of things to rant on now...will blog more later or another day. Tata for now!

The annual ritual

2008-06-05T22:14:00.003+08:00

So how long has it been since the last post? Well I think pretty long la....considering my laptop gave me problems again!! Yes once again this year...a new problem arises and leads me to doing the same thing I do every year now -- 'thump thump thump'....send to Midvalley to fix...I gotta say I think it's becoming an annual thing for me now...every year bring laptop to midvalley to fix yet another part that's spoilt...let's see...2 years ago charger konked cos help's electricity got cut off....last year keyboard spoilt and some keys weren't working...and 'ta da' this year -- fan rosak!

Cost me -- Rm180...alas it just seems that no matter how hard I try to avoid going to the toshiba in mv...external forces seem to propel me to make my way there....but... this time another shop fixed my laptop ok! OK thats cos stupid toshiba shop all sorts of excuses they gave me...technician not in...shop closing for renovation...bring to glenmarie in shah alam...oh called and no parts la hq...so u gotta wait for a few weeks anyway...and finally the guy told me the shop right outside (in the middle parts) fixes secondhand laptops so maybe I should try there O_o

And so I did....and guess what...the worker at this shop that's new and not so grand to have the name toshiba (in fact they didn't even have a signboard yet) told me no prob...they will check it...and can be done in 4-5 hours...and they'll do a software/hardware check to see if anything else wrong. I told them I could only be back to collect the next day (which was today) and they said no prob they'll call me if anything or if it takes longer. On that day in the evening I received a text msg telling me laptop was fixed :D

So picked it up today...cost rm180 and they didn't even charge me for the checking...and they reformatted my laptop cos it had a virus and also didn't charge me....so now you tell me....who's got better quality of service?? Stupid glamour toshiba center or shop in the middle of nowhere with no signboard?

Ok everyone know's how much I anti the toshiba shop la so just sokong my cakapan ok....omg I realized I've been tallking in Malay a lot lately that I now have the tendency to type in it too!

Anyway...eh...other updates...let's see...I just finished my midterms. Oh guess what I got my thesis supervisor and lo and behold....I got my first choice -- Dr.Fulton -- Loss and Grief.....ok I have mixed feelings about this...first off I think it's cool to be able to work under him cos its his area of expertise and I've been told he's nice one- on-one....but....I am freaking scared to work under him as well because it's his area of expertise! What if I can't do anything on par with his expectations?? OK choi choi....don;t think bout all that now...

Oh my counselor ffk-ed me this week...oh wait....I didn't mention previously I'm starting counseling did I? So yea...I'm starting counseling haha! But only with an intern and for bonus marks actually...but I'm not only doing it for bonus marks la duh...it's good experience and I do have issues wanna explore. So as I was saying yea...I went there all the way for my appointment to be told he hasn't met with his supervisor Dr.Ng to discuss yet..so can't have the session with me O_o so next week it is....

Eh other than that...pretty much same ol same ol....man I have a boring life....Um...I saw a Hush puppy dog in Help's car park the other day....and it was lost I think...roaming around the basketball court....and oh no I think it might belong to one's of the houses in Kasah! Cos i only know 1 house with tat dog...I hope it found its way back home poor thing :( ok I know that was totally out of nowhere....

Okla I'll just type another post another day.....and you know what?? I realized it's been awhile since there was a pic post la!! Ciao!

Quick short post!

2008-05-21T21:47:00.002+08:00

Ok I'm posting something new just to push down the old post....where I complained about my grades...because some people don't like how I'm not happy with my grades...ahem...hint hint...A...dr..i..an.... (:p leave a msg la on the chatbox!)

Well a quick update on how things are going...

Major assignment for cross cultural psychology is out and pretty confusing the assignment....my topic assigned...Death and Dying... O_o...ok don't be so surprised la...we had to hand in areas of interest and were assigned our topics along with those with similar group members. So my first choice for my topic was actually Loss and Grief...which consequently was my first choice for my thesis topic too. Well it's a bit obvious right the reason with the topic! But a tad bit intimidating to this topic because its Dr. Fulton area of specialty! So I'm so screwed if my group's work doesn't match his standards!! And Dr. Fulton was the first choice of supervisor for my thesis topic too...would be scared shit if he became my supervisor!

Ethics class is interesting..although a lot of friends find it a snooze mainly cos their not interested in counseling.

Had lunch today with Serena...good to catch up with her.

Was supposed to visit my boss at Pantia hosipital today cos she had operation on her leg today. But it started to rain by the time we finished class and traffic was terrible so we postponed it to tomorrow.

So Yang was gonna send me home but we went to eat dinner at SS2 first Ate claypot loh shi fun...

Ok a lot of stuff on my day hahaha but at least its an update!

Gonna meet Brianne tomorrow so don't be jealous Becky!

Bad results....

2008-05-13T19:00:00.003+08:00

Crap....results are out...and boy am I disappointed with myself....to me my results are bad...
1 B and 3 B+'s out of 4 subjects....

The last time this happened with me having all B's was Spring Jan 2006...in ADP!

I'm not the best student but previous semesters I would at least have an A- somewhere in the list of subjects...on a good sem I would score an A perhaps...

So to have a string of B's...well...I'm not too happy...at least even with 1 A- minus in there I wouldn't feel so bad/lousy/crummy/crappy...and that's the end of my year 2 papers too...man how am I gonna hope to graduate with a first class or second class upper now??
Oh don't judge me and say I'm kiasu...we all have our own standards...

Dammit I need comfort food :(

Argh buck up Theng!!!

New semester

2008-05-12T20:28:00.003+08:00

Ok I have no idea why Arina's name is smack in the middle...the alignment in my template is all the same...I so do not like it to be unaligned! But how do I fix it??? I tried pushing the alignment back and front but it won't work....any IT experts do help me please...

Well my new semester has just started. Can only take 2 subjects cos its a short semester. So this semester I'll be starting third year papers. So first core paper is -- Ethics in Psychology, under Mr. Gerard. Not the most interesting subject I suppose but a course all psychologists have to go through I suppose. Next subject is -- Cross-cultural Psychology, under a new lecturer at HELP, Dr. G Fulton. He's from Aus and a bit on the strict side. A tad bit intimidated la cos he's got high expectations and has made it clear he won't spoon feed students not even the very least. But other than that I think Cross-cultural psychology is an interesting subject to take as I'd a taste of different cultures and how the way the mind thinks would differ between and within cultures.

Other than that, what's up? Well nothing much I suppose...at least nothing I haven't ranted about previously. Hmmm let's see...I've been wanting to write something on friendships but think should save that for another post...am guessing could be a lengthy post.

Ummm....I really have nothing on my mind now...so odd...tomorrow's an off day cos tutorials haven't started yet so will be working opening. Besides that, really nothing else going on in life. Pretty much the same ol same ol. So I think I'll stop here and stop leading all you readers on to thinking there's something more to this post. Ciao!

Work nowadays

2008-05-07T20:27:00.002+08:00

Ok ok seeing most of my friends updating their blogs have pressured me to conform...I feel I should update just because everyone else did... :p

So I think I'll talk about my workplace today. Ok I won't get into nitty-gritty details but let me tell you about how work is nowadays.

First of all...things are so..so...so....SO...SO...SOOOO different compared to how it was back in the days when me and Ling first started working. Back in the day the management team was solid. Everyone worked well together. The team at Starbucks Bangsar Village 1 was..what I would call strong. And add on to that, the partners (employees la..baristas) there liked working...liked their jobs and were willing to put in the extra hours for the sake of their store. It was fun and good times working when I started working. Listening to the songs of Paul McCartney til we were sick of it and wished we could burn the cd and learning to work as a barista as well learning to meet new people and deal with all sorts of customers. Getting a taste of what the working life was like was something new and refreshing. And most importantly I met many new people whom I became friends with. Some closer than others of course but all in all it was a good learning experience and fun times.

Somewhere along the way...I don't know since when, I don't know why and I don't even know how...things started changing at the workplace. The working environment became a place of politics more and more and segregation intensified further than it should be. The management team's solidity started faltering and rupturing from within. It changed a few people here and there and it just wasn't strong anymore. Those in the upper position didn't look out for the lower ones anymore. Some set out to sabotage some even. Pretty soon it became like how it is nowadays at work. Most couldn't be bothered to work anymore. No one's committed to the store...I admit not even me. Nearly half the partners at the store want to quit and no effort is being made to hire anyone.

Work has somewhat became like a chore sometimes. Sometimes the reason I feel I stay on is because of the income it brings. Only on certain rare days when I get to work with the people I enjoy working with I feel good going to work. Most days...well...it can be a drag. People are constantly talking bout each other behind others' back...that even I'm influenced to do it at times too I admit. When I work with certain people I have felt like walking off at times when they boss the rest around thinking we're morons who do not know how to do our work.

Recently we learnt that the manager that taught me and Ling the most to do things the proper way was gonna be transferred to a lower volume store...which I think is a lousier store ultimately... Its a bit saddening to hear and see that happening. My boss didn't even bother to vouch or fight for her. And she has followed my boss for years without ever questioning her. Just told her if she didn't want to leave, she would have to come up with a good valid reason and tell it to the higher boss. No one even knows the real reason their transferring her. She's sad to leave and we're sad to see her leave...especially since the person replacing her...well she's not a person we all really like. To see her leave really amplifies how much my boss couldn't be bothered with her employees and never really appreciated any of those who sacrificed time and effort for her store and her sake even. And here I'm talking for all of us not only myself.

I don't know what will happen next...who knows of the workplace will get better. Somehow gut feelings tell me....very low chance of that happening. Will update more soon.

Just wanted to let off some steam and frustration...

Better in time?

2008-04-30T21:27:00.002+08:00

Sometimes the course that life takes is such a mystery indeed. I look at the people around me these days, most of them colleagues and it's funny how life goes on for each individual...everyone is struggling to make sense of their lives, to make it better, to make things work, to focus, to love, to smile, to succeed, to be motivated...to basically continue on with life. I know I don't make sense but to see so many people around in such distraught, so troubled by things...love life...work...relationships...studies...it's just ...I don't know even know what word to put in there...sigh....

I admit at this point in my life I find myself being troubled....troubled with uncertainty, with doubt, with a loss of faith, with sadness, with confusion about so many things....I'm so troubled with so many things....work, studies, future, family, relationships that....I can't focus nowadays...I don't want to go home after work because I don't want to go back to reality. I want to stay out and remain out to try and fool myself that I don't have to worry and think about things...that things will work out...like how its destined to....in simple terms I just want to live in denial...

I'm at a point in my life where I want to go into hibernation again..like a big ol' polar bear....wake me up when life looks better or when I know things are getting good...

I guess I just want some guidance I guess...I want to talk to people who doesn't judge me...or talk to me from above...

I'm ranting again...but spare me....it's been lonely these days....everyone's so boggled with things....no one has time to talk....at least not bout their own problems....

Here's a secret I've never told anyone....that in real life I never tell to anyone...

I wish my mom was here...I wish I could talk to her...get advice and some pep talk maybe...to be honest I don't know what it's like to have a mother so I can't say I miss her...all I can say is I wish I had those mother-figure that I see people having...people whose mothers they confide in, talk to bout anything, go shopping with, who cook for them and all sort of motherly things mothers do....sometimes I wished my dad had remarried so maybe I could get a taste of what having a mother would have been like...

Ok I need to stop talking rubbish....this is what happens when you stay home after work for a few days in a row...you hate the four walls that makes sorta like a prison...its makes me sad...think a lot....become more pessimistic....lonely too....

Sorry for this post all...the term everyone's been using is -- emo--maybe I'll remove the stupid post ultimately...

Anyways....I'll blog again another day. Hopefully something more cheerful. Let's hope things get better in time for everyone.

Spontaneity

2008-04-14T19:50:00.004+08:00

Exams are coming....

There's just too many things on my mind...

All I want to do is be spontaneous and carefree! To do just do things without worrying about the consequences!

....to dance in the rain like a fool....

....to dress and go out without worrying what people think...

....to watch a movie with a special someone and feel so cared for....

....to go to a theme park and scream my lungs out riding a rollercoaster...

...to pack my bags and go on a spontaneous backpacking trip....

....to kiss a total stranger....

...to give a beggar rm50 just to make his or her day...

...to have a karaoke session with friends in the middle of the street and sing our lungs out...

...to make out in public without giving a shit about what people thinks...

...to stand up on the counter at work and spray whipped cream at customers...

...to call someone and talk my heart out....

...to hop on the bus and travel alone anywhere...

...to buy flowers and give them to someone sad just to make them smile...

and the list can go on....I don't know what's wrong today...I don't know what makes me want to do all sorts...
Maybe I'm sick of being so restricted and confined in life....I would just love to do something spontaneous now and just have a great big smile on my face from doing it!

What would you want to put in your list of spontaneous things to do? oooh...maybe I should tag people to do this....it would be a fun thing to read right??

Okok here's the lucky people!

Yan Ling, Rebecca, Brianne, Lorey, Grace, Pearly....and anyone who wants to write a list down go ahead!

Scared...

2008-04-09T18:39:00.002+08:00

For the first time after nearly 3 years plus of staying out alone...I am scared to be home. I don't want to be home but yet I don't dare go out and come back alone later.

This morning a bunch of Malay guys hung around outside my neighbors fence (the uncle staying alone). There were bout 6-7 of them and some were apparently wearing bandaraya uniforms according to the uncle who saw them outside from his window too. They were being very loud and making a lot of noise. It was bout 9.30 and me and Materlline were downstairs getting ready to go for class. I peeped out the window and could see them. I dared not open the window bigger for fear they could see me. Mat's friend was supposed to come pick us up and we were waiting for her. Mat though her friend had come already and opened the door to peep. Our outside gate as usual was open thanks to brilliant considerate housemates and one of the guys came up to our porch and to the front door...opening our grill gate which also is not locked due to stupid positioning of the keyhole. Mat freaked out and slammed the door quickly. The guy was shouting stuff like -'oi baru bangun ke??' that was all I could make out of his shouting...they left shortly after that....

I finished class at 4 today and I did not want to go home...but it was better for me to get a ride home with pearly than to walk home alone I figured...I took a nap just now and I dreamt of ghosts...the only time I get nightmares and dream of ghosts or dead bodies is when I am seriously troubled. And for now...I am seriously scared....

I don't want to be home alone. I wish I had someone...anyone here with me now or for the next few nights with me for that matter....... :(

I feel unsafe and scared and all alone....

I don't want to be home....

Rantings...

2008-03-31T23:47:00.002+08:00

Well I don't have anything in particular to talk bout today. I've had a sore throat for a week now. And now its developed into a cough :( work today was horrible...the atmosphere sucked big time cos everyone was down cos of their problems. Even though I was feeling fine...everybody being depressed obviously affects u! Its the 31st and I forgot to buy Baskin n Robbins even though I reminded myself countless times. I'm not sure if I'm coming down with a fever cos I'm freaking sweating now even though my fan is at top speed.

Ugh...I feel lousy man...the only good thing bout today was that I finished my online quiz and scored full. Here are things I wish for now at this moment in time:

1. Air conditioning!!
2. Ice-cream, cake, anything sweet and cold that is a dessert
3. To sleep next day for 12 hours and wake up cough and sore throat free
4. A big hug to let me know things can be good :)
5. To sleep and have a sweet dream...its been awhile since that happened
6. To have someone clean my room
7. Air conditioning!!

Ok I'll stop ranting rubbish now...and go to sleep...in the heat and sweat....nitez all!

Why don't you believe in yourself?

2008-03-27T23:22:00.003+08:00

Observing the people in my life lately, I realized one thing in common that perhaps many of possess. Many people somehow just don't believe themselves. Some think their lousy. Some have low self-esteem. Some care so much about what other people will think of them. Some have no confidence in themselves. Some think they don't deserve better even when clearly they do. Many always say or think they can't do it even before they have even done it. They claim they'll fail before they try. Condemn themselves although their better than they perceive themselves. In other words....they just don't believe in themselves.

It's disheartening to see the people I know look at themselves like that. Look down on themselves even when they are capable of wonders and deserve to be proud of themselves. It makes me sad that these people whom I see enormous potential in them to drown themselves in their negative thoughts. Of course I can't claim that I'm one who is fully able to believe in myself but I try my best to do so.

A message to all the people in my life who are important to me...and you all know who you are:

Don't doubt yourself. It's not easy to stop looking down on yourself but start by believing in yourself. And remember you're worth it. And you deserve all the good things that can happen to you. To make that happen, a small step like saying "I can do it" would go a long way. Trust yourself and me when I tell you you are great and special in your own unique way.

Just believe in yourself :)

I love you all!

What do you think?

2008-03-24T21:54:00.002+08:00

Today a friend said this to me at dinner...

"Actually I think you're really strong inside even though on the outside you don't perceive it be."

I don't know whether to believe her, feel flattered, or doubt it. I never did see myself that way. No doubt I do have or at least feel I have low self-esteem/self c0nfidence. So in a way its hard for me to believe a characteristic like this of myself when it is pointed out to me. So once again I'll pose this question to those who know me well. What do you think of the statement above??

Random-ness

2008-03-21T20:31:00.004+08:00

First of Happy Good Friday to all! Ok no I don't really celebrate or anything or go to church even but still good to wish all friends and family who read my blog :p

Today I handed in another major assignment. My Abnormal Psychology booklet and the feeling is just utmost sense of relieve. Fuuuhhhh....only another last major assignment to go. The rest are mainly mini ones.

I met up with Serena for dinner just now. Its good to catch up with her. I always pop in the office to disturb her but we don't really get a chance to chat much in that sense. She is one the few people who I talk to who is quite grounded in reality. Life events change people a lot and honestly its usually those who have had an experience with death or something drastic in life that are quite able to see the harsher side of life and not engage in dream world or believe in happily ever after too much. We usually talk about life and although she's a strong Christian, it's good that she doesn't push her beliefs on me. The way we look at things can be different in a sense as she believes in a higher power-- God -- in living her life. I as most of you would know am not so much a believer of God. Anyway don't think should elaborate more on this part.

Hmmm... I somewhat feel like writing more today. Well we did bump into a friend from ADP at nirwana's. Some of you people from ADP might remember him-- we couldn't remember his name for the longest time and was still debating his surname in the end but his name is Wiun Chong...we think. I climbed Mount Kinabalu with his sister...cool leh :p

Going on to a different matter. As I am typing this I am blog hopping through people's blogs. Its fascinating to see the different personalities and ways people type their posts. Some are damn narcissistic, some are so religious, some clearly have low self esteem, some look through the glass half full and the list goes on. I wonder what type of personality do people perceive me as when they read my blog. Though most who do read my blog are friends and family. It's very rare to have an outsider read my blog as I don't advertise it much or am linked to others' blogs. A friend once said I seem like a hopeless romantic. To some extent I guess that's true but not all the time. Another friend has commented that I can be a bit negative sometimes. I guess that's true at times too. But that'll take me another long post to talk about that so better not start talking bout it now or you'll just be reading this post for another 15 minutes :p give me your opinion on this (*o*) [ok....I have no idea how to put a proper emoticon so that'll do....]

Now will talk about another thing. I seem to like to do this..post bout so many random things in one post that some friends have trouble commenting cos its totally different things :p I realized I haven't had much heart to heart chat with anyone lately. Everyone seems so troubled with their life nowadays and some seem as though they want to talk but refuse to talk about it. No doubt I have my own problems too but can be open to talking about them if you ask me. That's one thing I realized about myself lately too. I am pretty open to talking about things with people. Be it about my relationships, work, family, college. Its just that I don't really out of nowhere initiate a conversation about something and start self-disclosing to people la. But if you want to know anything about me then honestly all you have to do is ask. If I can answer you i probably will (man how do you do an emoticon where the smiley smiles with their teeth??stupid blogspot doesn't offer emoticons like xanga!)

Shall I talk more? People have asked me time and time again about why I don't go for any guy from my department. And honestly...here's why:

1. Most of them are so much younger than me! Helo...I don't want to date boys ok. I'm 23 this year...I need to look for...ahem....a man. There said it...admitted it. So yeah I can't really date someone if their younger and act like a teenager. Or for that matter even someone older but acts like a boy.

2. Most of them are Chinese educated. Ok no offense to them and I'm not condemning any of them but one of first criteria is that your first language must be English. Because first of all, usually there's a communication barrier between me and the person when talking. And second of all, usually there's different wavelengths in thinking and viewing life too. Somehow its so rare nowadays to find a guy who speaks good english...

3. Ok can't really think of a third reason now. But the first 2 are strong enough point don't you think??

Ok I'll stop being random here. Last note....I always visit blogs and most would have this part where it says 'Labels for this post'...and I would wonder 'Hey how did they do that.....?' and guess what...as I was typing this post just now I just saw the box there! How idiotic of me!!!

Buh byeee!!

Tiring day at work...

2008-03-20T20:10:00.002+08:00

Today was a public holiday and I worked for 9 n half hours...and there was not triple pay! Man Berjaya is stingy...

But today was a not so fun day at work. First of all yesterday I finished my part of an assignment til 2 am. So I only slept for bout 4 n half hours last night. And at work the whole day I was called Yan Ling by my store manager. Ok usually I just answer her and let it pass but honestly today it got on my nerves. I know she likes Yan Ling very much but hello...don't have to keep calling me her. I don't even look like her the least bit. We're not the same height even. I got so annoyed I almost felt like not coming to work on Sunday just so she can see her precious Yan Ling...(ok sorry la Ling...I'm not stabbing at you). But I guess partly why I got so annoyed that I was in a bad mood the first half of the day was because she instructed me...yes me Yan Ling not Lai Theng to do the grease trap (some waste bin under the sink that is supposed to be cleaned everyday) that has not been cleaned for 4 days! That really ticked me off. You want me to do work fine but you have to call me someone else?? What next write on the task sheet that Ling did the grease trap when she didn't even work? I was seriously annoyed. And as usual when I'm assigned to clean the grease trap by Mummy its automatic for her to tell me to scrub the walls too. Woohoo...what a great day to start work...

But ok nevermind...let it go I told myself. Then I was on break and decided to indulge in a Shepherd's pie...yes the lovely taste and texture of mash potatoes....so having ate one of my all time favorite--potatoes-- I was contented and happier. Back to work as usual. However, it was dear ol' Diana's turn to be in a bad mood. She was upset because 'smart' senior managers went and punch holes in her 5 B's cards (these are sorta like appreciation cards given to us by managers) and stuck them on the 5B board in the store. I don't know why they did that but man they pissed her off too. And then later on I don't what happened with her and Sarah but her mood became even worse. She didn't really talk much after that and kept herself super busy and upped her sarcasm level.

All in all work was not so much fun today. And I got extended til 5.30....and there was only 1 stupid bus on the road today so I waited an hour for the bus before I could get home. And was too lazy to buy dinner so i ate 2 packs of maggi...convincing myself I was really hungry. But I couldn't finish in the end :p

Well that was my day at work. Honestly I wish work could be more fun nowadays. Everyone just likes to be sarcastic to each other and piss each other off...

I want to go out and have fun...smile and laugh at silly jokes....tired of college and working sometimes...

Break the ice

2008-03-16T22:31:00.002+08:00

I have a new song I'm addicted too. You'd never guess it. I didn't even think I would like such a song.

Its called 'Break the Ice' by none other than Britney Spears.

One word I can use to describe this song -- S-E-X-Y--

The beat is and lyrics are all so sensual and seductive in its own way. And not too mention the video's cool too ;)

Normally I'm not a fan of Britney or even upbeat songs. But this song well I've been playing it again and again somehow.

Odd. Listening to it somehow makes me feel like grinning. A sorta sly evil grin. Perhaps the devil in me lies dormant and wishes to awaken. Ah to be bold and different. To do not so right things. Eberyone would have their what a friend called a 'dark side'. Something to ponder upon don't you think? How would you be like you 'dark side' came in control?

Staying alone...

2008-03-11T14:50:00.003+08:00

I finished college early today at about 1pm...and had no other plans or things on. So headed home cos it looked like it was about to rain soon. Here's the thing that happens a lot when you're a student living alone (ie: means your family's not here....), you have no car, not so much money to just eat anything and everything everyday and let's not forget being--being single...

First thing that will come to mind would be.....food....meaning -- dinner.

Here's how the thought sequence goes....

Ok....it's I finished early today. I can go home now....but hmmm....should I head home so early in the first place? But well no one's free anyway so might as well head home. Besides I do have assignments to finish up.

Hmmm....wait, I guess I would need to get dinner for later. No point heading home and then coming out to buy food. Besides I walk alone and walking out all the time alone...not the smartest idea sometimes....

**takes bus to main block** In the bus....wonder....hmmm...what can I eat? It barely even 2....if I buy something solid like rice...well by the time I have it for dinner, it might not be edible as some food might go bad....but if I buy like fried kuay tiow or something...then the food will be stale and...eh...like how they would say in Malay --kembang-- what bout fast food.....yuck.....everyday its fast food and mamak anyway around my area :( so that's a no no....

**reach main block** Well....damn it here already....whatever la....as long as I eat something only right....buy buns again I guess....not say got a lot of choice or variety but what the heck la...its just another meal....

Ok so you might say why don't you ask friends to eat out? Well occasionally of course...yes friends would be willing to spend time to eat out with you. or I could as my sister to eat too...true true but she does finish work late sometimes.....but apart from all that....you think people are so nice as to just spend time and money to eat with you every single meal? Some have families here so of course they would eat at home....and my sisters have other people to see too for meals....

Ok...so you'll say why don't you cook then? Its cheaper and healthier.....well I don't disagree but for those of you who cook...you know how troublesome and time consuming it can be...and let's not forget the cleaning up too....and all that trouble just to cook for myself?? A bit pointless....

So ultimately sometimes it's pathetic...at least I feel so when you actually have to think about your own dinner plans so early onwards...its pretty tiring you know to just walk out again and again to go buy food....so best option is to buy before you head home...so those of you who have cars sometimes should realize how lucky you are...you can go anywhere anytime of the day to get food. Even if at midnight and you're hungry you can just drive out to the nearest ramly burger stall...imagine if I walk out at midnight to get a burger....

Well I'm just whining today...I know there's no point to doing so but what the heck man...I'm eating bread for dinner...let me whine...

And final note....man buns are getting expensive nowadays....I bought 2 buns just now and it cost me rm5.60!! o_O

The way I am

2008-03-08T17:51:00.002+08:00

I've decided to blog again....my goodness this is certainly rare....

Actually I just somewhat feel like writing...and I've been trying for hours but can't seem to write anything for my assignment so decided to write here instead. Where things can just flow freely hehe...

Well here's a song I fell in love with the moment I heard it...

Sung by: Ingrid Michaelson

The Way I Am

If you were falling, then I would catch you.
You need a light, I'd find a match.

Cuz I love the way you say good morning.
And you take me the way I am.

If you are chilly, here take my sweater.
Your head is aching, I'll make it better.

Cuz I love the way you call me baby.
And you take me the way I am.

I'd buy you Rogaine if you start losing all your hair.
Sew on patches to all you tear.

Cuz I love you more than I could ever promise.
And you take me the way I am.
You take me the way I am.
You take me the way I am.

The lyrics are just so simple and sweet. The song's just 2 mins plus And its very rare that people nowadays can take others for the way they are...without being critical or judgmental. And I don't mean just in boy-girl relationships....even friendships and family members too. I guess I'm feeling a lil sappy now....check the song out on youtube....maybe its not for everyone but hey you never know....

Curses!!

2008-03-08T10:39:00.003+08:00

Ok I am not in a good mood.....and its only the beginning of the day!!!

I am so cranky right now thank goodness no one's home for me to throw a tantrum at....

Imagine....me a good homely goodie-two shoes girl going to sleep at 1 am on a fri night.....which is considered later than the usual time I sleep ok....and 2 hours later awakened by the sounds a noisy housemate no.1 who comes home....all the noise from the opening of the locks to the sounds of the shower....keeps me awake....ok so am awake til noisy housemate no.1 finally goes to sleep....and let me tell you I'm not the kind who easily goes back to sleep like some people.... (imagine Nobita from Doraemon ok....) so I take bout another 20 minutes to go back to sleep....

And surprise surprise...about 1-2 hours later....noisy housemate no.2 comes back chatting all with friends....argh....noisy!!! And wakens me again la.....luckily this one has her own bathroom in her room so am not kept up longer by the sounds of the shower....but still once awaken...I take another 20 minutes to go back to sleep....

Ok not enough they come home late at night and disrupt people's sleep...these people....are working the next day!! So imagine la....7.30am noises from the doors and shower again....lasts til bout 8am for housemate no.1.....ok awaken again....and once again try to sleep back.....and then bang bang again at 9 am from housemate no.2 going out to work or god knows where!!!

Argh!!! When I sleep at 1am and put my alarm at 9.30am it means I am timing myself to get a good amount of sleep which is roughly 8 hours la!! And this time span does not include the waking up by these noisy housemates!!! And by 9am my body doesn't let me go back to sleep anymore for the guilty feelings of not doing work as it will be late if I wake up any later..so here I am now....cranky...sleepy....and we all know the Aik Cheong white coffee doesn't work as well as my starbucks coffee in keeping me awake....ok and let's not forget tonight's a saturday night...so here comes round 2......

And what's with STUPID ms housemate no.2 and not closing the house gates when she drives out to her blood parties??? Hello!!! There are some of us who stays at home on weekends!! Bad enough there a murderers, robbers and rapists on my streets...stupid ass doesn't bother bout anyone other than herself and just leaves the gates open anytime throughout the day.....and yest when I noticed it was open in the middle of the night I don't dare to go out and close it....and to top it all of I was home alone too....imagine if I went out to close it....I might not even be here today......I wish I could slap her man now!!! Argh stupid lazy inconsiderate woman!!

I'm so pissed now.....in the words of MoJo JoJo from the Powerpuff Girls........

CURSES!! CURSES!!!

Moral Dilemma.....

2008-03-07T20:27:00.002+08:00

Ok finally I have my laptop back and its working fine now!!!

But as a result of that...I could not do any research or work the past week and have spent my nights indulging with my PS2 when I definitely was not supposed to.....playing game every night can be addictive and man....it really makes me feel like just turning my comp off and turning on my ps now!! But unfortunately....my weekend plan which was initially supposed to be spent in Melaka....has now changed to being a hermit at home and doing my research and assigments that mostly are due next week and the week after that.

Bad enough I have my GYMBOREE assignment due next fri....its also the same day my adolescent assignment poster is due....and to top it all of my abnormal psych immersion project's due date has been pushed forward to the 21/3....let's see that gives us less than 3 weeks to complete a whole dummy guide on substance abuse.....woohhoo....this is what happens when you put off assignments and have your laptop spoil during crucial times.....you have to stay at home and eat junk cos your only wasting time by going out to get food....and having no car makes the traveling even longer! So sometimes.....just sometimes...I feel like working life can be nicer....you don't have to come home and have to more studying and research once you finish work and can even have the time to go out and relax especially on a fri night....sigh....so anyone who pities this poor female hermit who needs to be at home this weekend do feel free to buy some food for her.... :p

Well anyways today something interesting happened when I was in the bus on the way to my workplace....the bus was turning at the junction at Pusat Bandar and as it came to the Guardian turning, it could not go forth because a car was parked directly at the end of the side of the road which didn't give the bus enough space to turn fully (ok...i'm pretty bad at explaining it...and definitely not gonna draw it for u....). So it stopped in the middle of the road blocking traffic from all sides cos the bus is freaking big la....

So unable to go....the bus driver honked and honked....there was no one in the car....and after five minutes of honking no one came either.....so what do you think he did? What would you do? Continue to honk.....go down and look for the car owner? Even though u know you're causing a traffic jam??

Here's what the brilliant bus driver did.....after five minutes of waiting....he got impatient....and couldn't be bothered anymore....so he just drove the bus pushing the car....more like banging it to the front....then that car banged the car in front.....and just sped off.....

After that mr.bus driver was driving like an F1 driver.....you could just feel the anxiety just from the way he was driving.....I think if possible he probably din wanna stop the bus for anyone too....

So is he wrong or right??? Who knows......the guy who parked the car there was quite a dumbass too to park there....even normal cars would have trouble u-turning if he parked there....did he asked for it to happen?

It was interesting to see though....but still I don't think he should have just banged the car.....imagine when the owner comes back and see his car....and imagine the other car owner coming back....he/she din even do anything too....

That was the somewhat interesting thing that happened today....makes one wonder that's all....what would you do if you were in the bus driver's shoes?

Sorry...baby spoilt...

2008-03-04T15:48:00.002+08:00

Sorry all who keeps visiting only to find no new updates....

Unfortunately my baby has not been well.....

Has been to going for repairs for awhile....so I haven't been able to go online much.....

But its will receive its final dose of fixing today....so hopefully after all this it will be a healthy and functioning again....

Special thanks to Donny and his friend (whom I have no idea what his/her name is cos Donny won't say...) for helping me fix it.... (and Donny I know you read my blog la...so leave a comment on the chatterbox once in awhile la... and also to Madeline for lending me her laptop to use for my lit review and to Edmund for helping me get connected online....

Okla will update once more once my baby is well......

Ps: Bubu is in STRESS mode now....assignments piling up.....

CIAO!!

Happy Valentine's Day!

2008-02-14T19:28:00.005+08:00

Happy Valentine's Day all! To all you couples out there have a great time and cherish your loved ones. For all those who are single remember this day is not only about a special someone but for all that you love. So to everyone I love and care--- I LOVE YA!!

Ps: Here's a fact some might not know of me....did you know I'm a sucker for heart shaped things? One of my favorite shape is the heart or love :)

Lost

2008-02-13T22:43:00.002+08:00

I have no motivation to do anything....
I can't focus on anything.......
It's week 6 of the sem and I haven't started studying or researching anything for any subject.....
I don't know but have been like this for awhile now....
What's wrong with me?? I don't know.....plan to see Mr.Franklin to talk bout it....I hope I brave myself to do it though....

I've been wanting to post up some pics from some gatherings but I honestly think I'll postpone that for now...I really don't have mood to comment on my own pics too....

So I'm just writing stuff now on how I'm feeling lately....

I'm like a lost, confused lamb.....and I wish I could SLAP myself silly out of this state of mind that I have been in for the past few weeks.....oh well til the next post ok.....I think I'll go to sleep in awhile...it's not like I'm being very productive looking at people's blogs...ciao...

Love Love Love

2008-01-28T23:48:00.000+08:00

Here's something I do when I'm bored....

Go on youtube and type random stuff to find...

So typed loved and found some really corny old love songs that I haven't heard in ages....hehe....

1. Show me love -- Robyn
2. All you need is love -- Lynden David Hall (originally sung by beatles but he sings it better!)
3. My love is your love -- Whitney Houston

Ah yes...love....such a sweet thing....

I look forward to the next time I find love....maybe it'll be tomorrow...maybe it'll be next month....maybe it'll be next year or 5 years but still L-O-V-E I'm waiting for you to hit me....

Yes I don't know what's wrong with me tonight to type these kinds of things but who cares.....people in the words of the Beatles... ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE!! Love love love love love love...la la la......

Okie updating!

2008-01-17T20:51:00.000+08:00

Okok i know once I have someone saying "update" on my tagboard it means I haven't updated in a while so okie okie here's an update on what's been going on......I must warn you all though the updates are not really happy things because last week was definitely not a good week for the new year man....so if your not in the mood to read news that's sucky then do do not read on ok....

Well.....let's start with smaller problems first la - firstly, my handphone is still....spoiled! Yes its still under fixing at sony ericsson...and at this rate I'm not even sure they are capable of fixing it....and the price they quoted me was rm180-200.......and guess where that money's gonna come out from...my own birthday money from my dad la....sad man...and I miss my phone....miss taking pictures and listening to the mp3 on it....sigh.....

Next.....my dad had a mild stroke last week. It happened on Monday. And last week was the first week of classes too. So on Monday night itself I went back Melaka with my eldest sister. Reached around 12.30 at night man...and we visited our dad at the hospital before we went home. Spent the whole week in Melaka. Skipped all my classes and work too. Nearly everyday me and my sisters visited our dad at the hospital about 3 times a day, morning, noon/evening and night. And my stubborn keeps telling people lies about how there's nothing wrong...and blaming the hospital food and all......sigh.....dear dad -- you have a small blot clot in your brain, don't deny its existence please.And you are the one who put sugar into your own Milo so don't blame the hospital that your sugar level went up. And don't be oblivious to the efforts of your daughters ok. Stop ignoring and disregarding them. We are the ones that will take care of you...not D or W or N or whoever else. Anyways my dad was discharged from the hospital on saturday. He's now at home undersupervision of my second sis. He has to change his lifestyle and exercise more as well as watch his eating cos he has high blood pressure, high cholesterol and diabetes. Get well soon dad! Don't be a stubborn, crippled old man ok!!

Other than that well nothing much la.... went back Kl on sun and the rest of the week's been pretty much the same. Going back Melaka tomorrow after my class at 12. Then coming back on Sat evening...cos Sun I have an outing with my colleagues. We're going to Genting for a day trip.
So that's about it....somehow the new year doesn't seem to be heading off to a good start....hopefully it will get better. We all need good things to happen once in a while don't we.....

Happy New Year!!

2008-01-03T22:27:00.000+08:00

Happy new Year everyone!!!

I have yet to decide any new year's resolution but maybe can come up with something good soon :p

Spent my new year in bangsar....ate at an expensive burger place...boo chili's burger more worth it.....and just lepaked at the store all the way til countdown...haha couldn't really go countdown anywhere la cos next morning I had to open the store...so that's why new year wasn't as exciting :p we planned already....next year...put off for the day after new year....haha then can go countdown somewhere more happening la at least muahaha!! Besides odddly enough new year's day got no triple pay!!!

Anyway class is starting soon.....and.....and......I dowan!!!!! I just wanna be lazy and bum around longer.....huuuu....and I definitely don't wanna get my results man....dad I'm sorry my results are gonna suck this sem :p mind couldn't focus and lecturers suck big time....(hhmmmmm....is tat an excuse I hear??)

Here a dilemma I'm facing....which subject to do??

Educational psychology or Human Factors and Ergonomics???

The former I have no idea what its about and its taught by Mr.Kenneth Phun...the latter is more about design and the sort and is taught by Mr. Franklin.....well of course people will say....duh Franklin is the lecturer to go for but still....me and design and art?? Not reeally such a good combination.....hmmmm....
Ps: btw Becky!! Mr franklin wants to get in touch with you!! He said you didn't even let him know u were leaving. Email him ok.....I'm not sure what's his email though....if u can't find it lemme know...will go cari for you...but do email him okie!!

I'm still not sure which subject I guess....gonna go both lecturees and decide then next week.

On a side note.....crap...I registered too late and the class for Puan Fatimah's lecture on thurs for PSY203 Child Development is full...only left Friday....which means I have to go for only 1 class on fri...crap la....sorry am just grumbling at my slowness......ish......kiasu Bpsych people....all go and register so fast.....

Anyway will update my new hairstyle as soon as I get pictures from Pearly.....hoho....you won't believe what I did to my hair this time!!! To be continued...hooo hooooh hooo......

Ps 2: Help.....my legs are full of eczema due to an allergy to I don't know what.....they itch like mad.....helppppp..........

Barista stories part 2

2007-12-19T22:36:00.001+08:00

Ok forget about the sucky exams and all other disturbing events and negative people and lemme talk about work...

Where to start? Some pictures la!! Here are pics taken a while back when we all decided to wear the same shirt to work one day. It was just us working girls that day and we planned the day before to wear our newly bought shirts the next day! Haha yes starbucks people are known for being 'mo liew' and being lame....trust me...don't believe me ask Melon...she can't tahan being surrounded by our lameness sometimes :p and we're also full of our nicknames....somehow.... O_o

From left: Theng, Diana, Sarah & Yan Ling

From left: Earthworm, Portugis, Minah Rempit

From left: Princess, Beruk, Ngeng Ngeng, Funky Momma, Bubu

Bout two weeks back our store was visited by the Holiday Angels (employees from Starbuck who go around....um...promoting our new drinks...and I'm not really sure what else they do....). So all of us had to be on floor to help out. My job was to help prepare drinks to sample while ngeng ngeng was stationed in front of Bangsar Village 2 to help sell merchandise at the roadshow (they called it a roadshow but....there were only 2 stalls...hmmmm....)

Me and the Mercury Man, Izzat (I don't know why they called him the that when his job was to give out coffee.....should be coffee man!)

From left: Evonne, Melon, D., Theng ( I was holding ballons...but can't see them...), Sarah

Gurlllll Power!!

Yan Thing, Lai Leng...or yanlinglaitheng (according to our store manager and a lot of other people who cant' get our names right....so they keep mixing our names us up...so sometimes Mummy will call both names..then both will look and she will point to the 1 she's calling....sad riteeeeeeeee...............) :p

Ok gotta go zzz now...working tomorrow....and its a public holiday so triple pay!! Woohoo! The joy of earning more :p

Exams are over and the hols begin...

2007-12-15T23:09:00.000+08:00

My exams are finally over.....I did not do well for sure....my last paper...for the first time 3 years of taking exams, my mind went blank when I saw the essay questions. I did not know how to write at all. And nothing came to mind in the 2 hours. Congrats....I got 90 for midterms in biopsych and finals I'll probably fail the bloody paper....

I'm not happy with my performance....like pearly mentioned in her blog....for the first time (excluding when I took Biology in ADP) I'm just hoping I don't get a C. Gettin a B or B- would be good enough....it would be to me not failing....I feel like crap...and the holidays have only just begun. Nobody's gonna be around during the hols which makes it even worse. I wish I could be like a bear and go hibernate in a hole til next year....eat tons and store fats and just go into hibernation. That would be cool...

I wish there was a service where it offers you a companion for the week. Whom will treat you like your the greatest gal he's ever met for a certain period of time. Once you feel better bout yourself then services will discontinue.

I'm 'emo'-ing a lot of days now....everyone and anyone can guess why...and now there's added reason too....throw in the added spice of sucking in the one field I considered I could be good at....academics...

Yeah I'm being negative...who cares la....I'm tired....I'm sad..I'm emotional...I'm down...

I need some sign to show me that something good can happen......

And the award goes to....

2007-12-13T16:57:00.000+08:00

Today's award of stupid girl of the day goes to....

Lai Theng!

Yes because she couldn't remember what model a guy called Daniel Katz came up with.....and so she totally wrote a whole different model for her exam.....hoho and here's more....the essay is worth a whole....take a guess.....yes..... 9 freaking percent!!! Kudos Theng for being so stupid....we shall await tomorrow's final paper to see if she repeats her stupidity again!!

I need a hug........huuu......sob :(

STRESS

2007-12-09T19:54:00.000+08:00

I have exams tomorrow and here I am wasting time blogging....
Yes this time I am so not prepared....and not motivated to try and get myself better prepared....
So I have no idea why I am posting this now...
I am very sleepy and stressed.....
I am 'emo' and tired and depressed....
I feel like eating 'rocky road' because I'm stressed....
The next couple of days I won't get much sleep...
I ordered 2 regular pizzas for dinner but the guy sent me 2 large pizzas....which i now do not know how to finish.....
I wish I could go on holiday like some friends...instead of work like a workacholic to take my mind off him....
I really need to stop daydreaming and ruminating man....
And I need to write more relevant stuff here...
I think I should end my post here la.....wasting space only and all my readers time reading this post about how I am stressed :p

I've been tagged!

2007-11-29T19:20:00.000+08:00

Ok apparently I've been tagged.....hmmm by none other than dear ol Becky!

So let's see....ah it would seem that I have to list 7 (or 10 cos she did 10 apparently :p) random/weird facts about me....ok let's start:

I'm very animated it seems. Yesterday I did closing and I freaked customers out describing the Espresso Tiramisu and Rocky Road to them. But hey I managed to sell all the Tiramisu ok! So whatever method of persuasion works :p

I'm very lame....I make jokes about stupid things and no one laughs except me or other lame people.

I'm also a bit on the slow side when it comes to understanding things or 'getting' jokes....a lot of times friends or colleagues will joke about something and I'll just stare not getting it..then after 15 secs later I'll get it and laugh at it myself. And others will stare at me in disbelief at my 'slowness'.

I''m quite emotional. Cry easily, get upset easily and get hyper easily too. I also get excited seeing dogs and usually say 'Hi' to them! Muahaha!!

After 3 years of telling myself to be more assertive....unfortunately I'm still not. Still have trouble telling people off and like Ms. Lin, am sometimes a doormat too :p

Sometimes...just sometimes.....narcissism hits me and I think I'm quite pretty.

I'm a left brainer...definitely not a right brainer cos got no sense of direction, no artistic ability and no spatial logic at all!

I somehow miraculously got 90/100 for my biopsych midterms! act this is not really any specific fact...just me bragging :p

I have dark circles under my eyes that never seem to be able to go away after how many years already :(

I'm a very goody goody two shoes...never had a rebellious stage in life and still am a very good girl. And homely person too :p

So there you have it...10 things about me! Let's see...I tag ummm (ish becky tagged others dy...) Yan Ling, Pearly, and all other bloggers who reads my blog.

On a side note....wanna know how 'mo liew' (full of nonsense....) I can be? Here's what I do at nights when I do closing....after throwing the rubbish....

Yes I climbed on a wooden horse and had Yan Ling take a picture! (the shopping center was having an art thingy...and the horses were left outside at the back where we threw rubbish...so I climbed on the short brick wall and sat on the horse and posed!! Woohoo!!)

Overcommitment you think??

2007-11-03T21:07:00.001+08:00

Today is Saturday...3rd Nov 2007 and guess what...I'm think I'm a little nuts....or maybe like the title says a little too overcommitted....because I worked today morning opening shift from 8am to 8pm. Yes today on a usual Saturday I worked 12 hours!

Yup I am nuts and definitely have no life. I was supposed to work til 3...then manager on duty extended me to 4. Then Mummy came in and extended me til 5. Ok no biggie....then 5pm came and she asked if I wanted to work til 8 because she needed to send the closing partners for their breaks n they were short on people. So being the kind, dedicated and committed partner that I am, I agreed.

Yeah right....lemme tell you why I agreed. Well for one...I had no plans duh! Hence I said I have no life :p secondly well I didn't really wanna go home. You know if I had the stamina and my feet didn't hurt so badly now I would've worked all the way til closing. Yes that's how much I don't really want to come home. For those of you who knows me well by now you should definnitely understand my reluctance to go home. And please don't ask about this matter if I see any of you. Leave what I say in my blog this time...in my blog. If you can't understand why then perhaps in due time you will la :p

But honestly I really had nothing to do even if I came home at 3pm. No one was free to go out. I sure as hell don't really want to start assignments although I should. Even now I'm home and I don't feel like doing anything. Once again home alone. Anyone wanna come over and teman me watch a dvd maybe? or just chill and play scrabble? I got milo and cake ;)

Ok ok I think I should stop blogging now...I really sound pathetic now asking ppl on my blog to teman me :p

I'll just stick to my excuse and once again say I worked 12 hours today cos I'm overcommitted to dear ol' Starbucks :p

Lazy free day :p

2007-10-31T16:23:00.000+08:00

I finally have a day off where I don't have anything to do!

Yup no work, no classes, no seminars, no assignments to do yet :p so today...wednesday 31st oct 2007--also halloween day coincidentally I have absolutely nothing to do!!! muahaha :p

And you know what....I'm actually finding weird that I have nothing to do...I was asking Pearly, "you sure we got nothing to finish up??" like 3 times cos couldn't believe the free day was real....

Well the day's been fine...woke up at 9...dilly dally and lied in bed til bout 10 then went down to have Milo and a leftover Siew Pow...then went to bathe. Sis called to go have lunch cos she was off today. So just got back. And I already bought dinner too...haha Burger King...used buy 1 free 1 coupons as it was the last day to use them :p

And now....I don't know what I should be doing...hmmm....I'm not used to not doing anything *faint* i know...shoot me :p hence I decided to blog la haha!

All this is melon's fault la! Cos she's still sick so we couldn't go buy converse and intro pearly to someone at Sbux at Midvalley hehe :p nola you get well Melon, rest, drink water and eat vit c!!

Oh pay is out yay! Got bout rm500 ++ like last month cool B-) so will save half and have half to spend woohoo! Will definitely take a pic of my pair on Converse shoes once I get them muahaha! ok I really dunno what else to type here so will put up some pics instead ;) here are some pics taken in conjunction with Pearly's birthday recently:

Lunch...

Aiyo I pale in comparison la compared these 2 hawt chicks

Dinner at Shogun next day....

Me posing with my layer cake at Shogun in 1U

Me posing with Melon's mochi...which she ate also even after 15 mins of all us posing 1 by 1 taking pics with it......lol as though it was the celebrity food of the day :p

Cam-whoring (is tat how u spell it??) with Pearly in the believe it or not...toilet in 1U! As we waited for someone who had to go urgently :p but hey even in the toilet I think our 'sexay' look pulled off!

After dinner at Purple pig's house...

Beware lady in 'jammies' their out to get u!!

Yes we actually spent bout 20-30 mins taking tons of pics of ourselves with Princess' webcam...that's how 'mo liew' we can get! And fyi--the pose me and pearly have is called 'Snip snip' (Pearly, 2007)

That's all for now!

Another random post....

2007-10-26T21:25:00.000+08:00

Ever wondered if you'll get married someday? If you'll actually be able to find someone...the right one who'll want to spend the rest of your life with and who you'll want to spend the rest of your life with? Here's my idea of who I would want to spend the rest of my life with....

To be with someone who doesn't care what you wear..who thinks you're still beautiful just wearing a baggy t-shirt and shorts...
Or to be able to burp or fart without feeling any embarassement in front of that special someone...
To be there for you and buy you food when you're sick and to accompany you to the clinic to get medicine...
To be lazing around on a saturday night with the ideal plan of just watching a dvd at home or playing scrabble instead of wanting to go here or there just cos its saturday...
To be able to go out and eat something fancy like at a grand restaurant at some hotel but at the same time to be able to sit down at some food court on normal days...
Even to live a simple life with me....no I don't mean like at the countryside tending to sheep...but more like in a ocmfortable home, having a decent car/s and just happy living together with what we have even if its not some luxurious lifestyle...
Hehe to have someone say you're still beautiful even if you're 60 or just have big panda eye bags like mine now...

Is the list unacceptable? or delusional? I don't really fancy all the 5 c's...I don't need to marry some rich guy just so I can be a housewife who goes shopping all the time and don't need to work...I really think living a simple life is good enough to keep me happy and satisfied :)
so sometimes I wonder if I have high expectations...or too low expectations.....or just expectations that cannot come true....hmmm....I don't know...

Like I know some people...they want different things in terms of their life partners...some wants 'hawt' sex every night, some wants the 5 c's and I even know of some who doesn't want to get married completely.

Well I think I would want to marry someday...no I don't want to think I want to marry someday...let me say that-- you know what.... I want to get married one day =) doesn't matter if it's next year, or 5 years or when I'm 30/40/50 etc...I want to be spend the rest of my life with the person I love and who will love me!

And the final most important thing is the person MUST i repeat MUST be loyal and faithful! Hehe the other day a friend was making fun that he wants to 'kaw' me and I think I freaked him out by saying if you want to date me you have to like only me and me only cos if I like you then I'll like you and you only....haha that there cant be any other this girl or that girl in the picture (cos he seems to want to date so many girls) :p sorry that's the way I am...if I'm with you I'll have eyes only for you and tend to be oblivious to other guys even if their interested...so like all other things that are reciprocal in nature...this criteria definitely needs to be the same as my own ;)

Yes once again this is a random post out of nowhere...but hey so what....at least now you all know I'm the kind who wants to get married and would like a simple life :p so feel free to let me know if you know anyone who has the same ideals as me ok? Ciao!

Smile and the world smiles at you ;)

2007-10-10T20:33:00.000+08:00

I always go to my own blog to get to links to other people's blogs I wanna read or check out.....

and I realized something.....

sometimes I don;t really post anything happy or positive that I think would put a smile on anyone's face if they read my blog....seems like always gloom....i'm sick la, sad la,......bla bla bla.....

And you know what...i think I need to stop doing that....ok maybe not all the time..so today lemme just put up some pics that makes me smile when I look at them....

These are my babies that accompany me to sleep at night...meet Slush, Piggy and Moo Moo

I was obssessed with Sailormoon back in the day....and am proud to say I still am muahaha! (ok maybe not to such extremes anymore)

Here's a pic of the doggie at home...meet Chester!

That's all for now....so smile everyone and the world smiles back a you....ok I have no idea where I heard this from....ciao!

Feeling overwhelmed....

2007-10-04T20:41:00.000+08:00

I'm feeling overwhelmed....I'm so lost in 2 classess....biopsychology and advanced quantitative methods....have no idea what the lecturers been teaching in class....I have mid terms next week and I haven't had time to study because have an assignment due tomorrow. And we have barely even started writing the paper :(

I wish there was someone here now to tell me everything will be fine and I can pull through..... :(

If only there was someone around to put a smile on my face and cheer me up ensuring me that I'll be able to do well.

Sadly though I'm here alone in my room just wondering if my members have even started their parts for our paper due tomorrow while listening to music.....and no one's online for me to talk to....sigh....

All I'm feeling now ---sad and overwhelmed----

Tired---panda eyes gurl....

2007-10-01T21:23:00.001+08:00

Bubu is tired....panda eyes bigger than the average panda's....I haven't had a decent amount of sleep the whole week. Everday I have to wake up around 6 or 7. And I don't get to sleep until at least 1 because there's so much work to do.

The past week has been hectic...I had 2 erb's to hand in, 1 proposal and 1 assignment due. And in top of that had to work normal 6-8 hours on days I had no classes. So at nights had to get the work done and thus sleeping late hours. One night only slept for bout 3-4 hours... Yesterday I had to watch 2 movies for my assigment and could only go to bed at 1 and had to wake up by 6.30 :(

Yes Bubu is officially exhousted and dead tired....sleepy...and next week is mid terms so this week I have to study study study...and top that I have an assignment due this friday....help me!

I wish I had a day off where I could just sleep, chill, and hang out at a mall, watch a movie maybe and a nice meal...and not worry bout assignments, work or exams........sigh......ah to hope.....

Oh and wanna know what made the past week even worse and more tiring? I've been sick the whole week...flu, fever and sore throat...now a cough.....haha and being sick and not being able to get enough rest= being sick even longer than usual :(

ok tonight I don't care man I'm sleeping by 11....regardless if I have anything due tomorrow...hey its a group project and suffice to say me and Pearly have pulled our weight more than we should...let the rest do procedural proposal due tomorrow. I need sleep!

Good night ppl and lets all have sweet dreams tonight!

Short update

2007-09-20T21:19:00.000+08:00

Ok ok been busy lately at nights cos am taking 5 subjects now so always gotta meet online and discuss or do research or even wrap books :p so thus the not updating the blog :p ok yes those are my excuses for not updating. But seriously I got no inspiration to blog. I don't know what to talk bout. And if you read my blog u'll notice I'm not really the kind to blog about my day and what I did and ya da ya da ya da....usual I just talk about random things on my mind :p

Well lemme just do some updates for the sake of those who wants to know what's been going on...if there are any that wants to know what's been going on with me la hehe...

Ummm....I'm still working....usually on Mon, Wed and the weekend. That's very few days compared to what I worked during my holidays....so pay will be quite little for sure :( But did I mention that my last month's pay was over Rm1000+...although after minusing epf it was bout rm970++. Not too bad but somehow was kinda hoping or expecting more. But what to do....
Oh oh guess what I did with my first pay? I went out and bought myself an MP3! Cost me bout rm199 and its a Sony. 1gb with fm tuner and voice recording. Muahaha my own treat to myself. Plans for my next pay--a pair of converse shoes! Either red ones or maybe army pattern muahaha!
Nowadays I dunno why but I get so tired easily....even by 10 at night I'm so sleepy and lose focus....either its not enough sleep or I'm not sleeping well....dunno but man I got to get more energy somehow if I wanna cope with work and 5 subjects....
Well what else.....hmmm I haven't really done anything 'exciting' the past few weeks...everything been pretty much the same and normal as usual. Lemme think yup yup...quite the usual go class...go work...go eat....shower...sleep....do work....so I yes I can't think of anything else actually.....aiyo I'll just write more when I got things to say la :p

Well lemme show u a pic of beautiful mp3......

And here's a pic of my latest food craze.....

This here is Starbucks' Raisin Scone. But if you just buy you won't get it like this because this is custom made. When you buy a normal 1 it only comes with butter and jam on the side. This scone here is a concoction of Mummy's. It been sliced into half, warmed up, put butter honey and cinnamon powder onto it.....and lemme tell you it DELICIOUS!! If ur craving for anything sweet...this is definitely the thing to eat. Try it...go to starbucks and buy a raisin scone. U can try and make it urself. U'll realize how good it is. (Ps: I realized the pic is a bit horrible cos I've already eaten like half of it....but only realized to take a pic of it after eating it...trust me....the taste is much better than what it looks like here!)

New semester, bob bob bob

2007-08-28T20:29:00.000+08:00

Well today was the first day of class.....and I think I'm still in the holiday mood la....well actually not entirely true. Fact is my whole holiday I spent working 8++ hours nearly everyday. So naturally (or maybe un-naturally) I don't feel like starting classes now. I just feel like going back to work. Even in class this morning I just kept thinking to myself 'man i'd rather be working and earning than sit here in class'. After my morning class which finish early around 11, I didn't have much to do so went to the store to visit Yan Ling. Lucky gal didn't need to take that class cos she's done it already so she could go to work......okok I know I think I'm obssessing bout working and mainly earning money!! Mummy says my head and eyes show only money already now :p

Weird isn't it that my next class was at 3 so I had a 4 hour break in between....and the first place I thought of going was actually the store....now I know what the Starbucks classes meant by saying they wanted to make Starbucks like a third place or home for customers. I understand now why some of our regulars never fail to come back time and time again. It's become the same for me too! Nowadays I dread going home and actually just feel like hanging out at the store even after work or on rest days :p I suppose its natural why regulars prefer to come back and just 'chill' at the store. Hey we partners at Starbucks provide warmth, friendliness and coziness in the store and we try to make all feel welcomed...even if we don't really like them...ahem...fat lonely guy who comes nearly every morning and tries to hit on the female partners there...ish...but yes nevertheless we still make him feel welcome....yes I am bragging a bit too much...

Anyway pay is supposed to be out either tomorrow or the next day!!!! Woohhooooo!!!! I cant wait. Have been waiting for pay to be out for so long!! I'm not too sure around how much I have made but rest assured it'll be at least Rm1000++ muahahaha!!!!! Of course naturally once I check the amount I shall put it up here to let all of you know how much I made....hey its my first job man so lemme be proud of how much I made okie ;p

On a side note I probably will be taking 5 subjects this semester...3 core papers and 2 psych electives...yes please pray for my well being people....hopefully I will survive this sem what with work and all...but really just want to finish the cores asap cos really hatethe subjects man...and at least if I do 5 now next semester I can relax and do only 4 subjects then.

Ok last matter....curious bout the second part of the title of the post? Hehe here's the answer:

My New Haircut! Bob bob bob haha!! (I know the pimple is very obvious!)

Hehe Rayme (a partner at our store) u might have cut like Rihanna but I cut mine like Victoria beckham :p

Boredom and daydreaming

2007-08-13T21:12:00.000+08:00

I don't know why I have been struck by this absurd sense of boredom today...after work I didn't want to go home because it was so boring at home and there was nothing to do....so I actually just hang around at the shop....waited for Yan Ling to finish and then we headed to some Malay stalls to chat. I had my dinner there...ate nasi lemak with fried chicken. We chatted for a while then I headed home. Now am home....took my shower and all and yet am still filled this sense of boredom and its as though I just don't feel like doing anything. I don't feel like playing game or reading or anything....and I don't know why!!!

In fact you know what I feel like doing.....going on a date with any guy (cute preferably)...someone I don't know and....well just getting to know him as I get to know him too... having a great conversation over dinner...and I don't know...smiling the whole time...blushing a little when he says something sweet or compliments me.....maybe he'll be cute and have a great smile and looks like Harry Potter (and no Yan Ling he will not look like Sean from the store!!! the guy's too old la and not harry potter kinda cute :p) or something......

Yes yes I'm still hung up with my dream....still thinking about it constantly and daydreaming what would it be like if this mysterious person would suddenly turn out to be real and true.....I mean think about it...any girl in my position would be wondering and dreaming.....sigh.....

Actually I always wondered what it would be liked to be chased by other guys....to know that someone likes you even if you don't really like the person in return...truth be told I've only ever been chased or liked by one person....and I think all of you know who I mean. I have never actually been asked out by other guys (ok do not count weirdos and nuts like a regular at our store who asked for my number....pukes!! If you see him you know what I mean....)....somehow I don't think I really stand out in the eyes of guys perhaps....maybe I look too average or plain....or guys just don't take an interest in me....I don't know....maybe like how I've received comments about how I look....I just look like too nice a girl...and perhaps nice is boring and unattractive to most...

When will come the day when an attractive guy (to my eyes is enough!) will come up to me and ask me out? Ok I know I sound as if I'm desperate...but it's not really that...maybe its more to knowing that you are and can be sought after...that hey there are other fish in the sea....I'm not looking but rather I just wish that I can confidently say that there exist others if I want to start looking. Sigh what's wrong with me? Clearly....of course because of there being no other male homosapiens that exist that find me attractive (except for male Brownies who love to whistle ans stare at me......) I do sometimes feel unattractive....plain...boring....I see a lot of girls and friends and own sisters being sought after in the past and even now....and me....yeah...Brownies who hoot at me....yea man....gags**

Ok now I don't know why I'm just ranting on and on and on....there seems to be no reason for this post anymore I think....oh lemme ramble man...I'm bored....so if any of you are bored already then stop reading la....I'm really just babbling....and am actually gonna continue babbling on....don't you think that its actually when a person babbles that you really get to know how the person really feels? I think so....i bet most of you didn't even know I felt this way....

I mean its not as though I want attention or something....but rather maybe to feel that someone finds me attractive....elo elo....can anyone relate?? A girl just wants to feel pretty...yup that's the word pretty. To know that hey all this guy/s here find me pretty. And you know I find...I find you handsome too...haha....like just the other day at barista class I was talking to another student on the way back...he asked what I thought of him. And well I said I hardly know you but I think you have a very nice smile (he's taken so yea.....)...and well don't you think we should give out these kinds of compliments to people more often? To let others know that hey I think you're good-looking or have a great smile, body or hair etc.....you know a compliment can really make someone's day and people feel good about themselves and at least we get to know that "hey, someone found me attractive!"

....and you know what...I think I'll start doing that from today onwards! Compliment someone if I find them good-looking or pretty. Hey even if no one made my day...at least I made someone's right? Ok now I don't know what I babbling on about anymore....what is with me man?

I should just stop typing now....I'll go back to daydreaming maybe.....no dreaming too much leaves your head in the clouds...sometimes you don't want to come back down to earth, to reality. Nevertheless, dreaming sometimes is what can give someone hope right? So here's picture for you all who want to keep some hope alive :)

The Dream.....

2007-08-12T20:11:00.000+08:00

Ok I'm gonna leave the coffee business aside for once and talk about something else today.....

I wanna talk about a dream I had last night....well more precisely a tiny fraction of my dream that I can clearly remember....well...actually I'm horrible at remembering my dreams so usually I remember only bits and pieces...but I swear this bit I remember seemed so real and I really remember it!! That part only la.....oddly enough....Haha so if ever any psychoanalysts do dream analysis on me...they'll have a hard time cos I hardly can remember my dreams :p

Ok anyway back to my dream scene....woah that sounds funny right....haha...anyway.....actually its kinda embarassing to share this but somehow it has inspired me to blog bout it....okok I know I'm dragging on and still not talking bout it......

Well...seeing as I don't remember much bout it......um.....for all I do remember....

It was some kind of event going...there were lots of people there. Think everyone was sorta casually dressed....And I think some people were doing some kind of dance or something....I was there and just met this guy and his friend. And I'm not too sure but somehow he (the first guy I met) grabbed to dance along with him and the crowd. He was cute and I feel liked each other the moment we met.... Then suddenly.....(ok here's the main scene I remember clearly!)

The lights turned off (ok there some like those laser lights around) and it seemed this was the highlight of the event or something...people started cheering and all (I think people were looking at some stage) and then beside me and the mysterious guy something was happening that caught everyone's attention....but just as we were about to look at what has happened.....

I pulled him closer to me and kissed him right on the lips (ok this I think I do remember....if not wrong I feel it was me who pulled him closer and not the other way around). And he kissed back and for that brief moment (like maybe 5 seconds perhaps....) we kissed each other.....

And let me tell you what the kiss was like....yes....I actually remember the emotions running through me as I was kissing this person I do not know.....

It wasn't just an ordinary kinda kiss....for anyone who has ever kissed a guy maybe you can relate.....well it wasn't as though it was intense and fiery or something and full of lust or something but rather.....

It was a soft and tender one. One where you can feel the connectedness between the 2 people kissing each other. It was full of warmth and embrace and was the kind of kiss where the 2 people involved long and yearn for each other and would want to just continue to embrace each other because of the warmth it gives.....and when we finally pulled away to take a look at what happened...both let out a tiny sigh or gasp wishing that they did not have to pull away from each other......

So there you have it.....my clearly remembered part of my dream....and you know what the worse part is....I can't really remember what the guy looks like...all I know was that he wore glasses (and because of that fact...my brain has tried to fill in the gaps of the guy by putting his face as the guy from Harry Potter, Danielle Radcliffe......my goodness........yes I think he's cute but no I don't think he was the guy I kissed ok!).

Well anyway...somehow the indicent that made us stop kissing was I think his friend (somehow I think the friend was called Sean/ Shawn) had fainted or died or was having a seizure or something like that...so that's why it caught everyone's attention....

So yup....that's what I wanted to blog about....the kiss more specifically :p ah I see all my psychology student friends analyzing the contents of the dream now!!

But seriously...on a different note...somehow I liked it....the dream (ok minus the weird parts), the kiss, the emotions I felt.....all of it....I still smile now when I recall the kiss...and its weird isn't it...it felt so nice and warm...and as though you were wanted by someone and you want the person in return too (yes people...I know it was dream and was not real!!)...like the kind of thing whe you talk about to someone else...can give that sheepish smile or make you blush....and yes I somehow wish it were real or would happen....to be able to know someone you like, likes you in return...smile and feel so excited thinking about him...wonder if he's thinking about you too when you're thinking bout him....the first kiss....so warm and tender like the one in the dream....sigh.....

If anyone reads my blog often, they might have realized that I do not talk about my relationship much...if not at all.....well I'll just say things haven't been going well....so that probably might help explain the dream.....

Anyways....I really liked that part of my dream....wish could dream it all over again and feel the emotions all over...haha if only I could hit the rewind button like Astro max!!

Feel free to comment on the dream! Muahaha I'm open to interpretations!!

The Barista Stories....part 1

2007-08-08T21:21:00.000+08:00

Elo my patient friends who read my blog......haha the tagboard is always full of concerns as to why I never update....so okok I'll talk a little about being a Starbucks Barista......fuyoh...don't you love the way the word sounds....barista....say it with me....barista....once again.....okok sorry too much :p

Anyway it's been about 2 weeks now since I've been working in Bangsar Village Starbucks. And lemme tell you.....its been tiring!! I work like a full timer man because its my holiday....everyday 8 hours. Usually from 8-4 pm...me and Yan Ling always do morning shift cos they don't have people in the mornings to open....but last weekend I did closing (my supervisor sent me home...and now I owe her snickers.....haha....) and lemme tell bout both closing and openings......

Openings: Hmmm.......well first off have to wake up freaking early la...bout 6.30...cos gotta catch the stupid rapidkl bus who does not come on time and is unpredictable when it'll be a the bus stop.....then at work....have to the stuff for opening....not too much fun :p usually we have to brew coffee and tea, grind coffee, put up all the pastries (btw did u know tat we receive fresh pastries at starbucks every day....usually they don't keep the pastries overnight except for cakes and muffins), miscelaneous stuff like take out the bar mocha (which is actually just chocolate syrup...so who knows why they call it mocha....) and put milk at the condiment bar....and finally we would have to do the floor mats...where we have to take them out, sweep, mop and put them back. Then its like usual la....work....make drinks, clean tables....bla bla...even while we're doing all the stuff in the morning we have to serve customers....

Closings: Well...I don't like closings...mainly cos of all the cleaning and sanitizing that needs to be done! Well usually we're still working as we begin preparing for closing....I've only had to do Back of House (BOH) which consists of wasing and sanitizing almost everything.....from pitchers to knives to mugs...to containers and other stuff which I probably don't know their names.....other partners will clean the La Marzocco, which is our espresso machine. Then another perosn will clean the cafe....mop everything and stack up chairs and throw all the rubbish....its time consuming and just a lot of cleaning basically...so I actually prefer openings.....but

The Best time to work is actually....if u come in Mid day!!! Haha this means like coming in 10-6 or somewhere in between la. Haha cos u don't need to prepare the stuff for openings and skip all the hassles of cleaning during closings...muahaha!!! But rarely la I get working hours of 10-6......ish.....

Well anyway the first week I tell you was like a crash course! Because they were understaffed....they needed us to learn quick so we could work like experienced partners.....so first day wasn't much...but second day learned how to make frappucinos --cold drinks. Third day learned hot drinks, which means learned to pull shots and steam milk....so basically learned to make lattes, cappucinos and caramel macchiato.....then next day learned bout pastry case and the by the fifth day was given a till -- yes....I was in charge of taking orders and working at the cashier by that day.....a bit scary cos so inexperienced...but luckily the people there are so nice and friendly and always willing to teach :)

So now basically have to do everything in the store....cleaning to making drinks to serving food to handling money....still don't know a lot of stuff so will have to slowly learn. I'll stop here for now. More stories to come in the near future......don't get me started on the cleaning grease trap....I'll whine and whine non stop :p

Oh last thing haha I actually attended classes this week.....and was pretty boring because we kinda knew most of the stuff already...by right was supposed to attend classes first before would be able to work but oh well....u guessed it...I was sorta working unofficially :p next week a final class where they act teach us to make drinks....um.....so Mummy(everyone calls our store manager Mummy) tells us to act stupid...or say we worked in Coffee Bean before....haha....ciao!

The Coffee Expert in the making -- Bubu

2007-07-18T22:03:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I think I really am a horrible blogger......I think I update like once a month....which is very bad.....You know why I think its bad.....because....every other day I go online and look at friends' blogs....and I like to read the stuff they post. And when they don't have any new posts after several times I visit...I go "ish...never update 1...." So I am a terrible hypocrite here....I myself don't update as often as I think I should...so I can only imagine the many countless times my friends visit my blog and close the page in disappointment....sorry my readers...if any of you still visit here :p I will try to update more frequent!

But I do see myself doing so in the coming weeks! You know why?? Hehe....because...come next week the Bubu will start work at......STARBUCKS! Yup come mon I'll be starting at.....8am @_@ super early :p

Yesterday me and Yan Ling (she'll be starting work with me) had to get all the requirements done....first had to go open an EFP account and then had to go get a typhoid jab in CHERAS....apparently there are only a few places where you can get the jab and anyone working with food in restaurants need to get the jab. After that we ate lunch and went to see Margaret our boss, who then went through with us this thing called 'first impression'. She went through all the rules and regulation, procedures and showed us around the shop and all. And finally she asked us to start fresh on Mon. I'll be paid rm4.75 an hour...not much but still its the experience that matter right. Will have to work minimun 20 hours a week...but since I'm on holiday I think she wants us to work bout 8 hours everyday....but with 1 or 2 days off hopefully :p will have to wear the starbucks cap, shirt and apron and black shoes....haha don't laugh but guess where I bought my shoes.....BATA muahaha! hey it was either those bata's rm25.99 or nike rm255...

Anyways will have more to update once I start. Will be going for training in Berjaya Times Square in the future too. A bit scared but looking forward to working at the same time. Hey its time I earned some money to buy an MP3 rite :p

Here's a pic of me with my cap! Hehe wil take a full shot in working outfit real soon! And yes those are my new glasses ;)

New friends

2007-06-23T13:50:00.000+08:00

Last wed was the last tutorial we had and we had to create a brochure on groupthink....here's what we came up with....

great minds don't think alike....does it ring a bell to anyone?

the contents of our brochure

Nice eh....ok maybe just average but hey we must take pride in our work k.....even of its simple n not tat creative :p

Anyway the semester is nearly coming to an end...and I must say it wasn't as bad as I imagined it to be...when I first started the sem i dreaded it cos I moved on to year 2 while the friends I made were still in year 1....but luckily I got to know Pearly --puerple pig (ok technically i memang know her....) and Yan ling --melon......they made my semester rather enjoyable :)

thanks gals!! n here's my revenge or rather umm....ur requests......

purple pig caught sleeping in class --words n drool courtesy of melon :p

melon....ummm...i don't even know how to explain this pic.... --pool of saliva+blood courtesy of purple pig :p

Muahaha and with that no weird pic of me thank goodness!

Sex and Food.......survival for humans?

2007-06-19T21:47:00.000+08:00

Yesterday....(ok I wrote halfway n forgot wat day but it was sometime last week...) was definitely an interesting day.....full os interesting conversations n great yummy food!!!

It was a usual school day...class from 9-5. With the exception of me, Pearly, Yan Ling and Grace going for steamboat at night! Yummy!

Anyway...the juicy gossip/chat/conversation/lesson began in the morning......when Pearly was stating the she gets bored of things very fast....so we asked her then next when u marry then how?? U'll get bored of ur husband? Or will have many?

Guess what she replied....in the words of Pearly......

"That's why.....so in the future me n my husband will have 'hawt' sex every night"

And....in shock....all me and YL could reply was....."we can't believe u just said that"......

Haha so the day went on n in prof R's class we started gossiping n continuing from where that left off....hmmmm.....this time conversation boomed when pearly asked me, "are u a virgin?".......O_O and well i'm honest n open bout these things so from there on our flowery conversation about s-e-x contiued on....

i don't think I should be discussing the details of our conversation...but just a taste it involved......um......positions (haha funny when pearly asked me how cos she couldn't picture it....n i said....i don't wanna show u cos then u'll picture me in head doing it....hahaha.....), different kinds....n more :p cool though that the purple pig n melon r open enough to talk bout these things....most ppl aren't.

Ok ok back to decency.........that night we went for steamboat cum bbq at talipon! haha we ate till all of us nearly vomitted n urs truly, me emerged as champion tat night ;) i'll let the pics do the talking.....

first pic taken --grace, pearly and yan ling

grace, girl who will have hawt sex every night in the future and me

once we were finished! greedy pigs we were indeed......

and us cam-whoring trying to get a good pic of ourselves (cos the lady who took a pic of is....clearly does not know how to use my camera...) :p

tats all for the interesting day indeed.....

yahoo!

2007-06-08T21:47:00.000+08:00

Elo people! yes yes i hear the knocking and smackings on my head! For not updating......muahaha.....and yes u can hear me saying all my excuses again.....i was busy.....dunno what to blog......ya da ya da ya da......

Anywayssssssss..........woohoo lemme celebrate!

Because------midterms are over!! And yes...the first part of my social psych assignment is done n passed up!!!

Ok yeah the schedule for finals are out...but give me 1 week to be lazy man......

Oh lets briefly describre my assignment for a while.....we were supposed to come out an intervention for a social problem.....

And you know what topic my group had to pick.....?

Ok don't laugh.......i hear the jeers and sneers........its coming.....hold it.....

MAT REMPITS!!!!!

ok i really dunno how we came about to picking this topics but we did and had to an introduction for our intervention filled with lit review......

so anyway....it was hard to come up with an intervention for these "assets" to our society....(as claimed by our "clever" people of our government.....)

but in the end...ta da i give u......Rempit Encampment Malaysia Program (REMP)....its basically a rehab camp for mat rempit.....

Ok so after long discussions n tackling a social loafer in her own lala land.....we finally got down the nitty gritty and......poof.....an introduction paper consisting of 2000 words! tats 2000 words of torture....writing bout a clan i hate! And making it sound as if i wan to help themmmm........ugh......i'm not pearly man....who emphatizes with them.....if it were up to me....these people should be.....um....maybe i should stop typing here....dun wanna offend anyone.....haha.....

anyway b4 i ciao....i wanted to go back melaka today...but b4 i could reach home even......raining cats and dogs......ish.....n din wanna stop too or lighten....luckily my boy boy came to my rescue....cos out of nowhere i c him coming down the stairs of the main block (he started his new job today...hehe and nearby too!) N he gave me a ride home!

but alas the rain din stop til late...so couldnt go back home....no worries! I'll go back next week. on thurs too assuming nothing comes up la....so cross ur fingers for ya!

That's all for today!

The new semester

2007-05-12T17:18:00.000+08:00

It's been awhile since i posted anything.....haha i blame everything on my spoilt keyboard....

But I finally fixed it! And man it costed a bomb......rm250 for a new keyboard.....sigh.....and I upgraded my RAM to make my comp faster....added 512 mb which cost me rm150...so altogether i had to pay rm400 to fix my laptop.......that's really heavy man.....so luckily evrything's working in order now and my laptop is faster than before.

So lets see....what has happened all this while.....hmmm....should I just number stuff to make it easier to read...hehe....

I started a new semester. Its a short sem this time. And I started year 2 papers already. doing social psych and human personality. Supposed to still be in year 1 but I got exempted so can move on to year 2. Well so far....its only been a week....so a bit early to tell how things are going....but the friends i made last sem are all still in year 1....so yup am all alone in class....well not exactly la....I sit with pearly and her friends and their great ppl but still.....feel like an outsider sometimes....

um....man i'm bad at updating......well....i didn't go anywhere last holiday cos it was only 2 weeks. I did go to genting with robin. we stayed there for 1 night. gambled at the casino but only managed to win bout rm100-200....haha lady luck wasn't smiling on us :p

Met up with grace the other day. She's probably one of the few good friends I made that's still here in Malaysia. Most have already gone off or are going to. I met up with Becky for maybe the last time a few weeks back...hopefully she'll still come down n we can meet up...but if not then I might not see her anymore. Byoul's so busy...haven't been able to meet her too....she said she'll be going off next jan...very sad...sigh....

Let's see......in april I attended Robin's convocation in Shang ri la hotel. tons of people there...the whole of HELP graduates were there including Serena and Charis though i didn't see them besides when they went up on stage to get their scroll. Here's a pic of me n robin....proud of my bf!

5. Aiyo...I dunno what to write anymore....if there's anyhting I forgot to write about will post about it another time la....haha sorry people....this is a result of absent mindedness.... :p

Hopefull this sem will be a good 1 despite many friends being so far away....pray for me all.... :p

assignments assignments!

2007-03-25T16:54:00.000+08:00

ok ok no negative post this time :p

uuuuhhhhhhh..........me got 2 weeks full of assignments.......

i have 2 papers due next monday (2nd apr) n 1 presentation on the 5th apr and a final lab report due 6th apr........and a business quiz this coming thurs 29th march...........man gonna be hectic the coming 2 weeks....esp with my nutty nutty laptop playing tricks with me when it wants to......today its been good and lets me type :p

i wanna go out shopping!!!! or meet up with friends!!! feel its been soooooo looooonnnnggggg since i went out with friends........becky.......byoul......lets go out.........hehe......

but alas for now.....its back to research and assignments....

oh btw i have to do an assignment on my career path in the next 5 years......hmmmm......a bit clueless....have to write on it, prepare a cv for it and present on it.......i tot of talking about being a family therapist......2 years more for my course...then um....2 years for masters....and the 1 year to practice or open a clinic or something.....

any ideas anyone? or tips bout wat else i could write on?? what do u think? give me a holler....would really appreciate it :)

stupid stupid laptop.....

2007-03-10T23:36:00.000+08:00

my laptop's spoilt......the shift key is constantly being pressed....I thought using an externaL KEYboard would solve the problem.....but guess i was wrong......the stupid keyboard on the laptop still functions.....i dunno how to turn it off.....i cant type anything properly.....sometimes its ok mosT times its not.......i have 1 presentation on tue which i HavE TO hAnD in a written paper too and 1 assignment due on thurs......and more assignments to come in the following weeks.......god knows how i'm gonna do my work.......

at least if its the bloody button is snot working i still have the other shift key.....but no....its just constantly pressing....

how am i gonna bring it to fix? where? wat if they need to keep a few days.....how am gonna do my work......

y is it that i never have anything good happens....its always stupid/lousy/bad luck.......

I"M ANGRRY>>>>I"M SAD>>>>I FEEL LIKE CRYING>>>>>NO ONE"S HOME>>>NO ONE CAN HELP ME>>>>AND I CANT EVEN TYPE PROPERLY>>>>>>.....god i hate this......its as though this is all some higher powers plot to make me hate life even more......

so what can i do.......try and do my stupid business assignments (which i have no idea how to do...) with my stupid laptop........haha haha haha....i hear whoever's up there laughing at me......

Sick again.....

2007-02-22T23:56:00.000+08:00

Happy Chinee New Year all!

Ugh.....and I got sick....again!!

It seems to me like every time i go back melaka for a period of time I fall sick........

Y????

Is it the weather?

Is it not enough nutrients--vege and fruits?

Is it cos Robin gives me vitamins everyday so when i go back and dun take them anymore...then my immune system goes down too??

What is it?? can anyone tell me?? :-(

sob.....

Presenting.........

2007-02-16T00:16:00.000+08:00

Theng......in 2005 - long quite straight hair with fringe.....

Theng....in 2006 - long nearly straight hair with fringe....ok.....2 years and my hair's still the same....so creative man....

And now presenting......Theng in 2007.....

2007- Short hair and long fringe.....(ok I know its not the best pic in the world....but understand that it was taken at night and I have ono digital camera and I have huge eyebags.....) but nevertheless to me its a different hairstyle!! FINALLY!!! Muahaha!

And here's a pic to make all of u gag....haha...those below 10 years old pls do not look......

hey its a day after valentine's day so I'm allowed to be corny!! Ciao people!

Sigh......

2007-01-30T18:02:00.000+08:00

Sigh....this gal is officially depressed......I'm trying to apply for an internship with career sense and we have to prepare our resume.......and.....I have nothing to write in mine........besides my a little above average grades, I don't really have any activities or working experience to write........the only thing I have is my mentor training...

Very upset now....but can only blame myself right...... :-( sob...sob.....I can hear the sneers and jeers of certain people (whom of course I will not name.....) I know already.......

Well I guess I do have 2+ years to make it better..........but still.....sigh.......

Some small updates and pics ;)

2007-01-24T21:33:00.000+08:00

Helo!! I am writing another post for the first time.....twice in a row!! Well not too sure what I want to say but just gonna babble some life stories out....hehe so if don't wanna know what I've done then don't read......

Well firstly, I went to Singapore last holiday with my sis, Ching. We stayed at out cousin's place. Was there for 4 days. We went to Marina Bay and saw the Merlion, walked in Orchard Road, and went to the Night Safari. Tons and tons of people in Sinapore man.....here's a pic of me and my sis near the merlion statue....

Next, last weekend I went to my cousin's wedding. It's the same cousin we stayed with in Singapore. I wore a long red halter neck dress. (but I don't have any pics of it now cos we didn't have a camera....) We also went to the tea ceremony in the morning so here's a pic of me and my family :) hey my family takes a family pic with everyone in it maybe only once a year....so this is a privilege k....

On Monday, I had dinner with some friends at Bangsar Village - Byoul, Becky, Nazdriah and Ke Xiou. It was a farewell dinner for Ke Xiou (I climbed Moun Kinabalu with her and Naz and Byoul). So it was the last time to see her. I don't have any pics yet so maybe will upload them later.

And yesterday I went shopping with dear ol' Becky! We had Yoshinoya (mmmm....our favorite) and walked around for more than 5 hours. 2 more hours we spent watching Night at the Museum (a good show :) ). But sadly we didn't buy much....it was so weird somehow this season the style is just so boring and yucky....we went into every shop we could find and only managed to buy 1 piece of clothing each from the shop Treat. Becky bought a dress and I bought a denim skirt. No pics of us eating Yoshinoya yet but I'll upload them when I get them from Becky ;)

Well....hmmm I think that's about it......will write more if I do anything else haha to bore all of u!!

A new semester

2007-01-24T19:11:00.000+08:00

Well it's a new year and tis the month of January. Its a new semester and this sem I could only take 4 papers although I actually wabted to take 5. But you see the thing is I'm still in first year technically and with my exemptions I could get exempted form 3 psych papers (yes 3!! only 3!!! bloody help wouldn't accept my many other psych paper....i only got exempted for research methods, intro to research methods and my social psych paper for intro to social psych.....sigh......bye A from substance abuse, gen psych,counseling n dev psych......)

So seeing as I got exmpted from 3 papers oredi I only had 2 more intro papers to take. that and another core paper...that makes 3.....so actually this semester I only had 3 papers to take.

So I thought maybe I take some electives to minor. And considering I asked exemptions for 2 mass comm papers what else but to try and minor in mass comm......man was I wrong....went in 1 mass comm class and I just felt sooooo out of place there....as though what am I doing here....didn't like the lecturer, the way the course was, the students there.....it just felt so wrong.....

So I decided to try somehting else instead....*tan tan tannnnn.....* (ok sound effects suck when its just writing......) I am now taking a.......*drum roll* management paper.......muahaha.....will now attempt to try out business.....and if I like ot or don't mind doing it then I might just might minor in human resource management.

So time will tell right......more to come on whether or not I'll be minoring in business. But so far its okla not too bad...a bit dry and the lecturer's a snooze but manageable (although I technically haven't started studying or doing any assignments :p )

So the four subjects taken this semester is....

Intro to Biopsychology (taught by a new lecturer Ms Phoebe who is just too soft....)
Intro to Human cognition, Learning, and Consciousness (taught by none other than....everyone is gonna be so jealous......DR> GOH!!!!)
Social and Business Communication (taught by a new malay guy lecturer)
Principles of management (I already commented on this :p)

So that's about the new sem.....

Our mind....

2006-12-17T23:01:00.000+08:00

"We all have our demons to battle"........I just said this to someone.....

Studying psychology really gives a lot of insight to one.....n it makes a person more observant about things.....more analytical bout

For 1 you are more aware of what ticks of a person or perhaps even yourself.....you might not know why the person is ticked off cos that would require looking at a lot of things but you can see what can make a person snap....or change his or her expression.....

For instance, I get a bit uptight when I know my boyfriend is going clubbing. I start to get insecure and think what if he cheats on me....or ends in bed with other girls.....or even if not what if those clubbing girls make a move on him......ya da ya da.......

You see the thing is it has nothing to do with him or the act of him going clubbing...its all just in my mind. And honestly that's usually what makes people edgy or snap or explode isn't it.....most of it (not all...sometimes its not ur fault if u think some things....) is in our heads.......

And all these thoughts in our heads...these insecurities, mistrust, shame,guilt ya da ya da ya da.......all these are things we think of because of experiences that have shaped our lives, behavior and way of thinking...... and because of all these....thus we all have our demons to battle......telling yourself it will be alright.......telling yourself stop thinking like that.....blah blah......

Isn't it weird how the human mind works.....bad things corrupt our heads and make us dwell on things that are negative and instead we lose focus on the good things that happen......

The more we dwell the more depressed we get....the more problems we face....the more psychologically disturbed we are.......and hence the more psychologists pop out in our community......ok where did that come from??

But I guess an idle mind is the devil's playground right.....and sometimes we all fall prey to the tricks the mind can play on us eh.....

Ok....I have no idea where this post is going....and why am writing it but nevermind....I wrote it already......I think next time I should think first about what I wanna write about.......

End of the year Ramblings

2006-12-13T12:55:00.000+08:00

Tis the holiday season and once again I'm back in Melaka for my semester break. It the end of the year and I'll have to say that darn one year has passed in the blink of an eye (ok almost....maybe longer than that....) and frankly I somehow don't like it when the year's about to end....

For one, you'll get older the next year...and I'll be 2* next year.......sigh I feel like a super senior in help......all the people are still young and excited to go to classes and make friends.....but me....go figure k if you feel old and have been there forever.........

Then you wonder did manage to do all you can do this past year. Were my decisions right? Were they wrong? Can I look back and smile? Or still ponder over things......looking back with regret......

Also I get sad.....because I wonder will the new year be better than this year? Or will it just be worse? A sense of (ok I wouldn't say impending doom.....) perhaps fear or uncertainty of the future which I do not know will bring me more happiness and cherished memories...or will the future hold for just a series of unfortunate events that can leave a person dysfunctional, disturbed and just plain sad and depressed.......I know I know...I'm being negative here....forgive me people.....perhaps the year has not been the greatest for me....and I don't know y but I somehow just have this odd feeling that something not good will happen......weird....and I don't like the feeling.......

Another thing about the new year that I'm not exactly looking forward to is the fact that I'll have to say goodbye to quite a number of friends next year.....all of whom will be going off to different continents and explore new worlds to build a brigther future for themselves. Don't get me wrong...I'm happy and glad for them but at the same I guess I feel sad just for the fact that they are leaving..... I don't deal with people leaving well....already I saw 2 good friends leave this year.....next year will be who knows how many more....I lost count..... I guess I feel the sting because these are people I've tried so hard to build relationships with and hence to have to see them go can be rather devastating...because in a way now I'll have to start all over again with different people and build on relationships with new people....which can get rather tiring sometimes (not all the times....there are still some great people out there). But I have to stay positive right.....so gotta smile Bubu....they'll still be ur friends.....they are just much further away.... :)

Ah why am I rambling on and on bout all this.......man...sometimes I really don't have anything to blog about......but I guess everyone needs their end of the year ramblings about things........ I just hope now the new year will be a great 1!! I really do ;) so everyone out there I hope you'll have a great year next year too!!!!!! Cheerio with a cherry on top!!!

Ps: Bubu went out drinking the other night....and realized what a horrible drinker she was.....got all red and a little tipsy only after.....(sigh this is embarassing.....) 1 cocktail and 1 beer!!! How lousy is that....ok ok I hear people laughing already...hahaha here let me join u....hahaha...sigh....... :p

oh no!!!!

2006-11-27T23:29:00.000+08:00

ahhhh....i changed my template...n everything's gone........i gotta add my tagborad....n others blogs....

NOOOOO!!!!!! Y did i do that?????

Announcement!

2006-11-27T22:22:00.000+08:00

Here here!! The worst blogger ever has an announcement to make!!

Muahahaha!!! For the first time ever since I've been in KL for nearly 2 years I am blogging....guess where?????

At the comfort of my own home......at 10.30 pm on a Monday night.....not tapping into other people's line...but rather using my very own (ok...ok the line's shared by 3 people....) streamyx which I went apply for all on my own (ok...ok.....Y Ji followed me to apply for the line too....)!!!!!!!

Yes my dear people (y do I sound like I'm talking to a fan club or something.......aiyo......where did all this narcissism come from....) I, Theng can finally go online anytime I want (except for when it raining heavily and there a thunderstorm going on outside....) at home!!!!!

Hahaha!!! So yes my dear friends with internet access anytime now....do expect me to be updating more often as I had always said I would!! (yes...yes....I do see the nudgings n scoldings on my tagboard asking me to update......hehe sorry gals!!)

Okie for now lemme just give a brief update.....

1. Last friday I went to a welfare home...and did a lot of hard labor...I think I'll write a post on that sometime soon...n put up pics as soon as I get them.

2. Last friday was also my 1 year anniversary with Robin ^^ *grin*

3. Next thursday and friday are my finals.....yup so got about 1 week++ to study.... @_@.... oh no......i feel the nerd in me emerging.....

4. Oh I have 2 assignments due this week.....1 on thursday and the other actually next monday....and as usual the procrastinator theng has not started anything......I am supposed ot be doing now....but as usual.....theng is doing something else.......ahem....but I'm blogging cos....cos....I should update....haha :p

5. umm.....what else......I think the penguins in Happy feet are adorable!! Especially when Mumble is young!!!! (wait...where did that come from??)

6. I'm doing not too bad la nowadays in class. Made some friends here and there.....did alright in midterms :)

7. really can't think of anyhting else.....um...I haven't seen Becky n Byoul for nearly 2 weeks now...sob sob.....so sad...all of us are so busy...

8. ok I'll write more when i can think of more ya!!

So haha i updated! And a long post too!! muahaha! Cheerio folks! That's all for now!!!

Um...sorry for not updating...

2006-10-20T11:06:00.000+08:00

I think I am probably the worst blogger ever.....I realized it has been bout 2-3 weeks since I updated.....friends who probably visited my blog often probably got bored visiting here....so....

Am really sorry for not updating......I haven't been able to go online. This morning is the first time this week I'm online. I can't use my laptop cos the stupid adapter blew again.....so couldn't bring my laptop to college. N when i come to college to use the net there's always a class going on......

Well hopefully I can an internet line in the coming few weeks. Y Ji moved in downstairs in my house n we're thinking of sharing it. Hope that goes well.

Ok what else? Oh yeah...I'm in the Bachelor of Psychology program now. Transferred this semester. So looks like I'll be in HELP for another 3 years..........ugh....the thought of that sometimes is just.....ok not that its terrible so far....just a bit lonely I guess....I think Becky u can relate to that right? I don't know anyone...the class is super huge (AE1 full!!) so u dunno who's new....who's old.... everyone has their own clique....Ok its just been 2 weeks so maybe it'll get better....but I guess so far I haven't been adjusting that well...I hope it'll get better.

Maybe I've been a little reluctant to blog cos I haven't been really that happy nowadays....oopsss...late...gotta go...to be continued....

The holidays so far...

2006-09-26T12:51:00.000+08:00

Argh....I just typed a long post halfway and suddenly the page refreshed by itself and lost everything.....ish......ok ok I'll type again...

Okie...I know a few people wanna ketuk my kepala now for not updating for so long...hehe....well...I've been...um...eh.....lazy!! And a little busy (last week) so didn't have time to go online. So before I rant on and on...first things first...

Dearest Arina,

Meow....and you've left us for UK already! Feel too fast for me......we're all gonna miss you so so much!! Hehe your narcissism, being cute, your meows, your stories on your love life and everything that makes you - YOU! Can you believe I've known you since first sem? That means its almost 2 years now since I've known you!! Sure we were never that close initially but better late than never right? Although we sort of only became a gang about 2 sems (or is it 3...someone refresh my memory...) I'm glad we did.

It's been so much fun hanging out with you and the rest. Each one of us brought something unique to the group and even though we were all different in many ways....we were also alike in many ways too. So that's why it was always so much fun getting together.

I'm really glad I got to know you and wished we had more time to get to know each other better. But even though all of us are soon to be continents apart....I'm sure we'll keep in touch and update on all our life stories! And in the future we can all meet up an chat about the good ol days :)

So Arina do take care of yourself there and most of all remember to have fun!! Am waiting for your emails and do update your blog too!! Will miss you tons and wish you all the best in your life and studies there! Remember to leave msgs on our tagboards ya!!

Lots of luv,
Theng

So sorry arina for posting that up so late. I haven't had the time to go online.

Anyways, well exams are over now and holidays are until the first week of october. So once again I'm back in Melaka during the hols, Oooh but this time I went on a short holiday before coming back.

Last week I went to....Kota Kinabalu! Hoho I went to climb mount kinbalu......it was a challenge I dared myself to do....

But....but......sadly I could not reach the top..... :(

The first day when we climbed I had trouble reaching the inn (Laban Rata) in the middle.....but I made it though...even though me and Kay were the slowest people to reach. I had difficulties in breathing....I don't know whether I should say its because I'm not fit or my lung capacity is small....but every 30 secs or so I had to stop and rest as it became very hartd for me to breathe....as though I had asthma or something.....

ok the next mornning we alll woke at 1.30 am and left to climb the peak at about 2am....once again...I had difficulty breathing.....it was so dark I got scared climbing up too cos everyone else was so fast.....and there was no one around me....the guide followed Kay back down after a while so I was all alone climbing up......I finally reached the part where Byoul and rest were....they had to wait for the guide before they could go on to the next part.

Up ahead...was cliffs with a rope for you to pull yourself up with.....seriously.....I contemplated going up for awhile but in the end decided not to because I would not be able to rest if I couldn't breathe halfway up there.....so in the end I went back down by myself...in the dark......

So yeah I'm actually a little sad I could not make it....climbing down was better for me....but somehow worse for Byoul..... Now I feel as though I should return as I have unfinished business there....sigh....but I guess next time I'd have to train first.....

I really don't know why I was breathless so easily.....maybe I have no stamina....maybe I couldn't adjust to the altitude...who knows...... :(

Well I'm back in Melaka now....and I'm sick :( coughing.....fever.....and flu......sigh...Theng....could you be anymore weaker?? I was sick last holiday too......gonna go eat porridge now.....

Second last day of classes....

2006-08-30T00:47:00.000+08:00

Well I have mixed feelings about today......why? Because I did badly in 1 presentation and alright in another 1.

First I had my persuasive speech for public speaking in the morning. Ok when I went up at first I was alright.....I started......and was even a tad happy when I introduced my topic and the lecturer said interesting topic.......and then........bam!!! I don’t know what happened......nervousness kicked in......and kicked in bad I have to say....my hands started shaking and I lost track of my cue cards............arrggh.......I can only blame myself for my nervousness and stupidity. Crowd comments became a distraction and I got nervous!!

Stupid me......I managed to finish my speech but skipped a few things I really wanted to say and my hands couldn’t stop shaking........to me I think I looked like a fool......stupid Theng!! It was the last speech I needed to impress Mr.K and I blew it! Already I only scored a 12 out of 20% for my informative speech....this was where I had to score....now I had to blow my final speech....ok I still have a group presentation but after today I told my group I didn’t dare to present anymore....I feel like a chicken...and Serena was right I shouldn’t give up but now I just feel like a total idiot....even after so many hours have passed.... (but thank u so much Becky for consoling me and saying I did ok....really appreciate it....)

Anyway after my stupid speech...I had another presentation for my developmental psychology class. My part was very little and I did alright this time....weird...I hold a microphone and I don’t shake.....hold cue cards and I’m nervous like hell......stupid me!! But overall I’m really proud of my group for doing such a great job...its unfortunate we didn’t get to take a group photo but I will post up a pic our badge!! Hehe I’m really glad our dev assignment’s finally over and it turned out great!

But I think you can know which presentation I’m still indulging in right....yes I’m still bothered by my stupid presentation earlier.....why is it that I choose to focus on the bad instead of the good? Sigh I do wish I could turn back time and do it again......but too late anyway......but to my dev group: excellent job all!!!

Our Stars Badge! I just love it!!

Oh our Substance Abuse poster! I forgot I haven't posted it up...hehe am still proud of it even if we didn't win ;)

The bad luck month.....

2006-08-25T10:58:00.000+08:00

Well it's nearly the end of the semester....next week is the last week of classes and after that will be my study break...the exams!! I haven't been blogging for a few weeks now.....not that nothing's happened in my life but just that I somehow don't know what I wanted to post up and sometimes just didn't feel like talking aobout anything specific.

Hmmm....ok I'll just say some stuff that's been going on....first...my house in Melaka got robbed about 2 weeks ago...dad lost some money (I'm not supposed to tell people how much.....). Next....oh we finished our poster for substance abuse...not all were working (of course me, Becky and Byoul were working!!) and it was a lot of hard work but we're very proud of the final outcome...hoping to win the best poster for Substance class so much...so wish us luck!!

Even though next week is the last week but I still have 3 more presentations to go. 1 for devlopmental and 2 for public speaking (and i so hate my public speaking lecturer now....he graded me so lousy for my informative speech and I didn't think I did that bad....).

Oh here's some news.....bad news for me...my laptop adapter blew when I was using it in block e....the power suddenly went off and then my stupid adapter couldn't be used anymore....and the worst part is it cost me RM340 to get a new 1!!! And I still don't have it cos the shop didn't have it so I had to borrow the 1 from their shop first....

I'm not gonna lie...but I haven't liked the month August so much.....in fact I feel like its a bad luck month for me......maybe that's why I didn't blog anything...most that happened seems like bad news....so I blame it all externally saying the ghost month is bad luck for me...haha.....

Anyway August is nearly at an end so hopefully the next month will be better for me eh......oh but ghost month is 2 actually 2 months long this year round....nooooooo!!!!!

To Brianne

2006-08-02T17:49:00.000+08:00

This post is dedicated to our dear friend, Brianne....

Dearest Brianne....it's been a blast knowing you and hanging out with you. You joined our 'gang' last but you are the first to leave us. Will miss you so so much. Though I am very sad to see you leave....I am very happy for you at the same time.

I know you'll have a wonderful time in Canada!! Am expecting to hear lots and lots of great stories from you (preferably read your soon to be made blog eh...hehe...) and I hope that in the future we (the whole gang) can meet up with each other despite how far apart we all are.

Take care over there and promise to keep in touch. If you're ever feeling homesick remember we're always thinking of you and miss you too! All the best in the future. Miss ya and love ya gal!!!

Picture of the gang taken before colloquium presentation. From left: Arina, Rebecca, me, Byoul, and Brianne

Long day....

2006-08-02T17:21:00.000+08:00

I'm thinking too much again.......so many things running through my head now......

Today has been a long day......not much happened but still it feels like a long day....

I woke up and skipped my 8 am class....firstly because I just didn't feel like going to class and my mind was preoccupied with preparing my informative speech for public speaking class. And even though i didn't go to class....I didn't really prepare my speech....luckily I didn't have to present today but tomorrow I'll definitely be presenting so I have to prepare it by tonight. Which is also why I'm blogging now....cos I don't feel like going home....

After my 10 am class I went for the Summer Variety Concert.....wasn't much but it was ok I guess. Saw people singing and playing instruments. Somehow I always found musicians to be so dreamy...I don't know why. One guy sang and played the guitar and I think if he (or any guy who can play a guitar/ piano) sang to me...I would've melted....haha...always told this to Becky....

Then.....we met up with Brianne just now. It was so sad because it would be the last time we'll be seeing her. And the time to meet up was just too short.....before we knew it she had to leave and we had to go for an experiment already. I don't like farewells.....I don't handle it maturely enough. I didn't cry (I usually would cry when I'm alone at home....) but am very sad to see a dear friend go....and Arina's going next month too....sigh....somtimes I just wish no one would leave....I know friends come and go and I have to accept that but still....its something that will take awhile for it sink in and to adjust to.....

Think and think and think.....

2006-07-25T15:04:00.000+08:00

Today in class Dr. Ng was talking about inhalants and she mentioned a disorder (not related to substance abuse by the way...) which I thought was so.....like me.

General Anxiety Disorder she called it and apparently its a disorder where 1 just constantly thinks and thinks and thinks. From the major things down to the smallest of things......I don't have time to google it but I think am one who definitely might suffer from that disorder.....

I think about stuff too much and worry about things too often...sometimes its not even that important and relevant to what's current or more important at that point in time....I'll think about what someone has said...even if its not important or if it didn't mean anything. I think about the future...the past....tomorrow....anything. I think and worry about stuff so much that lately I've had trouble sleeping because I'm still thinking even when I wanna go to bed.....yup I have insomnia nowadays....again....

Yeah so the truth is sometimes I think too much....too much for my own good at times....

So here I am self-diagnosing myself with GENERAL ANXIETY DISORDER.....I'm gonna go think about my assignment now.....

What do I want in life?

2006-07-25T15:00:00.000+08:00

Here's something I just typed out for fun yest in an attempt to avoid doing my assignment that's due tomorrow!! At 8.30!!!

Have you ever wondered what is it you really want in life? Some people want to start a family, some want to travel the world, some wanna do this and that.....everyone would have something or things they would really want in life. Sometimes it can so far fetched sometimes it can be so simple.....

I do ponder a lot over what at time about what I really want in life...and to be honest sometimes I myself don’t seem to know for sure what I truly want in my life.

I know for a fact that for the longest of time ever since I can remember that all I want is to just be happy. I always wanted to be happy with my family, with my friends, my special someone and with the people around me. I always wanted to wake up and just be able to smile and be happy. A little vague and maybe far fetched to some but honestly that’s all I want and need. To be happy with myself, life and everything I did.

But here’s where the big question mark comes in......to be happy is what I want but the thing is I never can answer the question as to how and what I can and am doing to make myself happy....

People can ask me what I want and if I answer that I want to be happy...the thing is what makes me happy? What constitutes as something that makes me happy and something that makes me sad? How do you know something should make you feel happy or sad or neutral even? Have you ever wondered that? I have....how about you? Think about it...what do you want in life? And what would make you happy in life??

Things I do before a meeting....

2006-07-20T15:44:00.000+08:00

Helo....Tze Lih says helo!
Becky says...wake up Theng!

I say...so bad.....
and then everyone went....hahaha :)

What does all this mean....absolutely nothing....just that they're are here am I wanna blog and I dunno what to blog about...muahaha.....here's a pic of us!!

Me, Tze lih and Becky...pretty girls of ADP!

And here a picture (taken earlier way before the beautiful picture was taken at the top) which includes Grace (actually the three of us didn't want to put this picture cos we think we look weird but then it's not fair to Grace right...hehe :)

Ok....I'm the only one who looks weird in this pic...the rest of them looks great! Amazing Grace at the top there :)

So that's what I did before my group meeting today....haha...cheerio!

Burnout level...about 75%.....

2006-07-14T13:55:00.000+08:00

Here I am again......ok somebody please shoot me or get me an ice cream sundae.....my supposed hardworking attempts to go to the library and study have been officially flushed down the into the sewers by none other than your truly....the girl sitting (still...) after 2 hours that is me!

I'm woke up today with the intentions of buying the paper, checking the mail and studying in the library (and maybe eating out if I were to get hungry...). But do you know what I've been doing the past few hours??

Well I've been sitting here...chatting on MSN (ok only with Arina cos nobody else is online...and now she went off) and looking at profiles on friendster....all my friends profiles!! Yes...that's all I've been and still am doing (ok technically I ran out of friends to look at on friendster...)....

What is wrong with me.....even though I'm online...I don't want to do any research or assignments..... I don't wanna study.....and now I don't even wanna eat.....I'm hugnry but I don't feel like eating anything....and yes now...I don't even feel like staying online anymore....

I can't say for sure what's wrong with me...but I was talking to grace yest and....I think I realize partially what's my problem..... I'm experiencing a 'burnout'.....seriously....some days I'm not motivated to do anything.....don't wanna study...not even eat sometimes too.....

I need help I know...and I think I need a vacation..........I'll be fine I know...but for now.....I'm gonna go get ice cream or cake I think....... :) CHEERIO to all!

Pic in the Malay Mail....

2006-07-14T12:12:00.000+08:00

Well initially I came hoping to persuade anyone to buy the Malay Mail paper today because I thought a picture of me and my sister would be in it......but I bought the paper before coming to the lab and to my disapointment......there was only a pic of my sis in it :(

You see yest a reporter came up to us as we were eating dinner at Nirwana's and asked a few questions concerning about the new ruling that is hoping to be approved by the tourism ministry about nightclubs being open til 5am as compared to the 3am rule now. Well my sis did most of the talking (which would explain why only her pic right.....) and the photogrpaher took pictures la. Anyway it was cool to find out that the reporter used to be a student in Help too and in Adp as well....hehe small world eh ;)

So as it turns out my pic's not in the papers....but for those of you who wants to see my sis' pic then do go get a copy of the Malay Mail.

Love is in the air......in my house that is....

2006-07-09T17:31:00.000+08:00

8th July (Sat) 11.33pm – It’s a Saturday night and will someone please get me out of this house....I apparently was not aware that the house I was staying in was actually a House-of-Couples.....

I really feel like the odd one out here.....there I was just happily channel surfing between three shows (attempting to watch Bridget Jones’s Diary, Spanglish and Lost.....oh and Gilmore Girls later on...all whilst trying to study my textbook...).

So out comes housemate no.1 going out with her boyfriend (who has been staying over lately). And coming back later......luckily they went to their room. And next comes couple no.2....so sweet having take out from Dominoes downstairs right now :)

Ok seriously I’m really happy for the 2 of them (wait it should be 4 right?).....but being downstairs just now alone...watching sappy romantic movies and a series which centers around the theme ‘Love’....and having to watch happy couples giggle and be lovey-dovey around the house just now....really.......really.....doesn’t exactly make me feel very ‘lovely’ right now.......

Yes...yes if it sounds like I’m jealous to all of you then I’m not going to deny that I am... Sigh all the romance and love in the air just makes me feel very lonely right now.....

Sometimes I wonder when my knight in shining armor is gonna come and sweep me off my feet.......but anyways cheerio to all you happy couples out there tonight on this lovely Saturday night.....as for me....back to my drugs.....in my textbook that is....

Reasons...

2006-07-07T18:30:00.000+08:00

6th July – I typed out something earlier but decided not to post it because it was kinda stupid. So thought I blog about something else instead (yes....I know I have to study....but you can tell how much I’m not motivated to study by me wanting to blog just about anything...). So ummm...what shall I talk about......ok........

Well today I had lunch with Sok Jhin (Becky joined us later) and then we went to Level 4 to just ‘lepak’. Ok so Sok Jhin didn’t believe me when I said I had broken up and wanted to see what he (I think I don’t need to mention who right.....there’s only been 1....) looked like.....wait a minute...where is this story going......Ok sorry....wrong info to put in....anyway I told them (two of them at the time) how I am actually not over him yet (actually I think I’ve admitted this to a few people already).

It’s true I’ll admit. I am not exactly over him. Honestly it’s not easy to just move and try to look for others. The close proximity makes it even worse as I have to see him everyday (ok not for now as he’s in NZ). But don’t get me wrong, it’s not as though I’m hoping to get back with him or that I can’t go on without him....I can continue on with life fine not being with him but I have my reasons for not being able to get over him so easily.

I guess firstly would be because he’s actually the first guy to show an interest in me. And this is for real. I never had anyone like me...not in primary school...not in high school. Heck not even in college. Really! I was never asked out nor had anyone confess they liked me or anything like that. I’m just not the type of girl that would attract the attention of guys (and that’s an honest truth...if not how come I’ve never ever heard of any guy having any crush on me...). I’ve never had anyone say I was very pretty (ok my gal friends don’t count!) or knew of anyone that found me attractive or charming or alluring...or whatever la......

So to know or have a person falling for me...I guess....well I won’t say flattered me (but I did feel that a lot) but I guess somehow makes me feel ‘special’ and pretty even. I was never one to stand out in a crowd so to know I was noticed amidst the many faces just gives one a sense of specialness (goodness is that even a word...?).

It’s the same concept if you find someone cute isn’t it? You might be the only person finding the person attractive despite everyone else not agreeing. So if you were the person and found out that someone found you attractive then of course you’ll tend to blush right...hehe I so don’t know how to describe it but you get the gist of it la......And I have to say that for someone who is average looking (yes I know everyone is special and unique)...as in I don’t really dress to impress and look normal la, it’s nice to be noticed sometimes (ok don’t nobody go telling I should wear miniskirts and tight tiny tops to turn heads....I ketuk your kepala only...I only believe in dressing prettily to an extent....).

Besides that, he was my first boyfriend. And as they say....the first cut is the deepest right...oohh...feeling like singing the song....haha....but yes he was my first a lot of other stuff as well.....I don’t need to give specifics right.....that’s personal...but you get my point. No further elaboration needed here.

The next point would I be what I’ve mentioned before....the close proximity. Yeah that really doesn’t help at all. Oh and have I mentioned that I’m quite prone to feeling lonely. So knowing that he’s right next door, it takes a lot of effort (wah....as though I’m exercising or something...) not to go seek his company....thus the reason why we still go out for movies.....aiyo......

Ok I’m not sure if there are anymore unconscious reasons but that’s all the reasons I think. Plus the final fact that it’s not like there are other guys currently trying to get my attention or woo me or something. I mean if there were other candidates then of course you won’t be constantly thinking of the only 1 candidate right?

In conclusion....I have no idea why I’m sharing all this with whoever reads my blog.....as usual I just felt like blogging out anything. I realized something...I’ve been pretty narcissistic in my blog haven’t I....all I ever talk about is what I did...or how I feel.....I hardly talk about anything other than myself.....my goodness am I that selfish........But then again the blog is about what’s on my mind....so.....hmmm......I don’t know. You gals (and guys...if there is any guy who reads my blog) can be the judge of that. I’ll try to talk about stuff other than bout me....hehe...til next time then...cheerio!

Colors!

2006-07-04T17:16:00.000+08:00

Blogged this some time last week but only posting it now…can’t remember the date….

I went to Midvalley (again....) today with Rebecca after class. She wanted to get shorts for her trip to Perhentian and we were supposed to shop a little as we thought the mega sale was going on. Unfortunately for us.....there was no sale......it seemed like the sale was over. A couple of shops had some discounts but there was nothing special to buy.......so sad. And Becky couldn’t find any nice shorts too.
But still we walked around (hey we were already there so might as well look around right?) and tried to look for some nice stuff. Our plans to shop during the sale didn’t go very well this season. When the semester started, we went shopping but the sale hadn’t started yet. And now when we went again, the sale has ended :( But I bought a top (and quite a fancy one....ok just something different from my usual baby T’s) and Becky bought a top to wear to Perhentian too (but that’s all we could find.....).
Well anyway back to the point of this blog entry. As we walked in and out of the various shops window shopping....I realized how much I like the color White nowadays. I tended to look at anything white in color, be it skirts or tops and even pants. And I wanted to get so many things that were white in color. Hmmm....I found this well not weird but contradicting or should I say ironic because I used to love anything black.
I used to buy all clothes if possible black in color or perhaps with a shade of it. My wardrobe last time (when I was in high school) used to be usually black, blue or grey. I would have maybe 1 or 2 of shirts that were red or brown but that was it. Believe it or not but my first white shirt or top was bought when I was in college. Sometimes when I think back about my dressing those days....I find my wardrobe to be pretty dull.
Well nowadays when I shop I actually try on different colors (and recently different styles...haha I’m actually trying on skirts nowadays...) and am currently trying to expand my wardrobe to include all colors if possible. I have many different colors now but the colors which I do not have currently include:

Anything orange – if do get anything of this color, it would only be a light pale orange. I don’t like dark orange and I don’t think dark orange looks good on me cos I’m quite tanned.
Lime green or light green – I have a pale green shirt but that’s the only green shirt I have. I don’t really want dark green anything cos I don’t really like that color. Not too sure about lime green but guess would be ok if it looked really good on me. The light green would have to be the color of a green apple of that sort.
Aquamarine (or do you call it teal?) – I would like to get something this color. I’m not sure how well it would look on me but the combination of blue and green itself is just nice to look at by itself :)
Grey – I realized that I don’t have anything of this color. I’m not a big fan of the color but wouldn’t mind having something of this color.
Brown – Well if you shop with me often you would realize that I do not like the color brown. Yes I’m quite tanned so this color doesn’t go well with my skin but overall I just don’t like this color. Even if I do get something brown, it would probably have to be light brown (just realized I prefer light colors too...).

I’m sure there are many more colors that I do not have in my wardrobe but that’s all I know or can think of for now. So my favorite color now is white and I prefer light or pale colors nowadays as compared to dark colors (but that can change over time.... my color preferences are never constant...). And this is partly due to the fact that I walk everyday…in the hot sun…so dark colors make it really hot and make me sweat more. My favorite color of all...hmmm.... would have to be purple (especially light purple) but blue comes in a close second. And finally, I don’t know why but I think I look good in pink ^_^ (I don’t know if I really do but just think I do….).That’s all about me and colors......

Just a lazy night........

2006-06-23T13:28:00.000+08:00

Hehe me and my supposed new look :p

Well initially I wanted to do the tag thingy that Arina tagged me with but couldn’t think of 6 weird traits I had....so maybe will do that another time. Hmmm....I am actually not sure what I want to blog about now....I could blog about my day but it went the same as usual. Nothing in particular happened...just went for classes and had a group meeting at four and that’s about it.
I did have lunch with Byoul, Grace and Trina. It was good to see Trina’s transferring going well and that she’s happy to be going. Grace seemed like she was high on medication and kept on insisting she could drink coffee and eat the ‘pisang’ and ‘bawang’ bebola/cucur even though she was obviously still sick. Luckily we forbade her to eat the fried stuff (but she still ate fried rice for lunch and drank coffee.....hmmm.....). I had Subway for dinner and that was it...am here now at home. I don’t feel like studying....at least not now...I have the entire weekend for that so didn’t know what to do except blog ;)
Yesterday I met Justin who was visiting from Korea. He still looked the same except that now he had black hair instead of blond. Seeing him made me think of HELP idol last year. Those were fun days and more carefree I have to say. And my grades were.....FANTASTIC I might add. A 3.7 gpa during the first semester...wow....I haven’t achieved that ever again.....sigh......
Anyway Serena (my very positive ex tutor) gave us a ride midvalley and we pretty much lepaked around until about 3pm before actually meeting up with Justin. Met up with him and he wanted to watch a movie so we watched ‘Cars’.
The movie was quite nice for me. Yeah it was a little childish but I’m impressed that they managed to incorporate so many themes in a movie about cars. There was friendship, romance, a lot of humor, loyalty...blah blah and all that la.
But still.....somehow...a movie about cars....where in the world the cars are not driven by people and the cars themselves are the living beings on earth......and the cars have tongues (like huh??)...well I found it hard to grasp that concept......I wondered how do the cars reproduce....are they manufactured? Or....do they you know.....? And is it only cars (and trucks too) in the world? Do they have busses and motorcycles? Those are questions that I’ll never have answered..... :p but watch it you get the chance though. It’s one of those feel good movies so you know you won’t leave the cinema feeling sad or down :)

The bold move......

2006-06-16T13:12:00.000+08:00

Thought about the whole evening on Thursday......
Was thinking about it as I did my report....
Spent the whole night thinking about it.......
Spent the morning getting ready to go for class thinking about it.....
Was in class and still thinking about it.......
Finished class.......
.........and....
my mind was made up..........
Went to block A to print and call my dad about it........
went back to Block E and finally did it!!!!
What did I do you say.............I.........

DROPPED P-H-Y-S-I-C-S!!!

And I do not regret it! It cost me rm50 but its better than getting a C or failing......So now I have only three subjects but its no big deal. I'll just try to get the best results for those subjects! And Ms.'S' .....I DO NOT LIKE YOU!! YOU ARE MEAN AND SADISTIC.....

And that's my post for today......